Hey. Idk if that coach would be the most therapeutic person to tell. I'm not sure how he would react. But if you trust him enough and want to tell him then maybe it would be helpful.
A lot of trained people don't think to use their moves when they are suddenly assaulted anyway because of how the brain reacts to trauma. Unless you make it a muscle memory...
But anyway, I think the classes are good if it is making you feel safer.
But as far as telling, have you ever told anyone else?

It wasn't really for therapeutic reasons to tell him. It was more like so he can stop triggering me and the place I go to , he can create something specifically for me.
I do have muscle memory, I know that. When I dissociated once, I put another man in an arm bar when he tried to take advantage.
I have told a few people, but it's a different circle

Or maybe your coach is wiser than you think. He already knows all he needs to know. My sense is that he is trying to push you out of your comfort zone in order to help you learn
and grow. (Which is sort of the whole point of taking a class). As you know, the focus of Jiu-Jitsu is that a smaller/weaker person can defend against a bigger/stronger person. That's why you signed up for it. While you are in class, you are in a safe space. It's a place where you can have close, physical contact, and grapple with men, in a non-sexual non-threatening setting. I would encourage you to work on pushing yourself past your mental boundaries. And then bask in your success!

Some states like mine have a hope card which is something that briefly states the fact that you have been a victim of a crime and if there is a restraining order etc. Have you looked into any where to turn for help professionally? There are federal grant and state programs that cyou over the cost oing f professional and medical care including lost wages and other types of therapy where you would feel safer like self defense. Maybe the place isn't the one you need. My son he was raped by two men and his trauma therapist is a retired sgt major from the army and also teaches several different types of martial arts. So I am sure that its probably the instructor is simply oblivious and ignorant of that and if it seems like he is beginning to purposefully poke at you "trying to toughen you up" don't let it be your shame because its not and you should not feel shame it wasn't and isn't yours and it may help by writing the instructor an email and I am sure once he has it brought to his attention he willng be more likely to be aware of it for future victims

@ashleyabednego
Thanks for that. I do think he's pushing a bit too much. Maybe I will talk to him more. I never thought about more survivors attending.