Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

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stay or go????

valgal18
valgal18
one of my brothers goes to the college where i was raped in 2009.....he has his spring break and my mom asked him today if he was coming back in town for Easter.....he said he probably wouldn't...so my mom said,"well i guess we'll go there...." and she turned to me.....since i came forward and told my parents i have vowed to NEVER GO BACK......i don't plan to go back....and my therapist agrees with me......so i asked my mom,"as in "we" you mean you and dad right??" "and you if you wanna go....if you don't want to go, you can always drive to aunt teresa's.." my aunt is hosting Easter so everyone will be there, except my family if they choose to visist my brother.....and then my mom said,"or we could visit you on saturday...." my question is should i stay and drive to my aunt's or go down to that college???? i'll hafta drive on the expressway to get to my aunt's house and i've never driven on them before.....i'm scared....either way, i'm scared......it's like do i get freaked and have a panic attack and possibly have flashbacks and have my anxiety peak like crazy??? OR do i freak and try not to get into an accident while drivivng to a party???? any advice will be greatly appreciated
deleted_user
deleted_user
If that guy is still at the school I would suggest not going. But Easter is also a time for new life. Maybe going back to the school could bring some closure. Your family sounds supporting too. It has to feel right though. Do what's best for you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I say dont go to either one. Do u have a friend u can stay with until your mom and dad get back in town from visiting your brother? If u dont have someone to stay with, I would look harder until u find someone. it takes sometimes weeks of practice in a driver's ED car, before someone can successfully drive on a highway. And highway driving is crazy sometimes. U really have to know what u r doing when it comes to driving on the expressways.

If u miss a Holiday with family, so what, there will always be more Holidays.

Your therapist is right. Dont go to the college. It's too soon for u to come face to face with the reality u went thru. Keep your mind focused on what u need to do with school and work. You may not be ready to face that college for another 40 years. So in the mean time, just live your life away from the college. Learn skills on how to "forget those things which are behind, and reach forth unto those things which are before". You'll be much better off.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I just noticed something with your posting titled "stay or go????" I was wondering if u know, that with any decision in life , you do not only have 2 options, like, (stay or go). There are many options in between that. Like don't go to your aunt's, dont go to the college, but do stay in town with a friend. Or just stay home and invite a trusted friend to stay with u til your parents get back in town. That way u r close to home and in familiar surroundings. maybe u or your parents have church friends that can stay with u. Always put your thinking cap on when it comes to making decisions. And remember, there are never just 1 or 2 options. There are actually hundreds of them.
One saying that bothers me is: People say all the time "Everything happens for "A" (1) reason". The truth is, "Just 1 thing happens for many reasons. Not just 1 or "A".
valgal18
valgal18
my family isn't really supportive....we never talk about it and they don't believe me....well, i take that back...it's like the believe it, becasue they HAVE to, but they don't have to so i dunno what that;s about.....my parents don't trust me on my own...i'm gonna be living alone so they might as well let me stya home alone....i can celebrate Easter my own way....i have no idea what's gonna happen
deleted_user
deleted_user
I hope everything goes well.
valgal18
valgal18
well i told my mom that i'm not comfrotable driving on the highway and she said that my dad and her might visit on brother saturday and we can all go to my aunt's on sunday....