Just because your body reacted doesn't mean you wanted it.There are nerves down there. I wasn't able to reach an orgasm very well until I got into therapy. It had really helped me. My husband is really gentle with me too. That helps alot. So sorry that happened to you. No matter where you were at in the act No means No and he should of respected that.

It works both ways with Men & women.. the sexual excitement even if it's not wanted.
Guys get erections & can have orgasms even if it's not wanted by the guy. This is 1 of a few ways guys are raped/molested.

KAdunn well said & medicaly proven too.

I once took a course in rape that was given by WOAR in Philadelphia, PA. (Women Organized Against Rape). The intent was to train to be a rape counselor. It was 3 hour classes for 10 weeks, so I studied for 30 hours total.

To make a long story short, I was told at the very end of the course that I did not make the cut. They didn't consider me adequate to counsel rape victims. That was really ironic, since many women had come to me in my lifetime and said that I helped them (as an amateur, just a caring person).

I finally figured it out. There was a clique of women there who were man-hating lesbians. One of the things they insisted was true was that ALL MEN WOULD RAPE, GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY and if they thought they could get away with it. I offered the opinion that NOT ALL MEN ARE RAPISTS. That got me kicked out. I was also accused of being homophobic!

It was very sad, really. MY LIFE EXPERIENCES AND OPINIONS MEANT NOTHING TO THEM, because their hatred and bias against men ran so deep.

I agree with you LivingWater not all men will rape, something has to be wrong in their mind for them to crave power in that way.

You did the right thing Livingwater...
It sure seems like these women in the WOAR group are not going to be counselors for rape victims.. It takes a very simple brain to assume all of 1 species is bad b/c of a few that are in it ..
They are workings of the minds of stereotypical women, not much different than on mindset of racism or terrorism.

Witchie ? embarassed to orgasm? even alone? I do know how trauma can cause problems in what was meant to be an enjoyable experience, He's gone now . I know from experience it can take a long time to heal,if you ever heal. I do hope you can enjoy sex someday with the right 'person' .
You call it rape , but I've always heard/read without penis to vagina sex it's called molestation, But either way it don't matter, forcing sex on someone has the same effect , no matter what it's called..

from my last post..You did the right thing Livingwater...
It sure seems like these women in the WOAR group are not going to be counselors for rape victims..

CORRECTION - You did the right thing Livingwater...
It sure seems like these women in the WOAR group are not going to be GOOD counselors for rape victims..

Thank you, Cowboy and Witchiewoman!

I went through some experiences just about 20 years ago and similar thinking that it was wrong and has had lasting effects.

that's horrible jonathan-so sorry you went thru that. Men are victims too and can be very loving . My husband is awesome and would never do that to anyone. Livingwater-sounds like you stumbled upon a lesbian cult

Just because your body reacted never means you wanted it..
Example...
I was 5 when a guy stuck his hand in my shorts and basically masturbated me. I got hard. Can't tell me at 5 I "enjoyed it"... I froze. I didn't know what to do other than stand there and listen to his messed up laugh, and stupid comments he made to/about me...
When I was hard enough ( I guess) he pulled his hand out, laughed, turned around and walked away...
In no way did I 'like it' but because the penis is senitive to touch, I got hard... He probably knew it would happen.. Probably why he did it..

I would guess that the guy who raped you I would guess knew you would respond in that manner, and he was in total control over you and your body... He probably told you lies to.. Like you wanted it, or 'obviously you like it' or any number of things to shift the blame into you...

I'm very sorry you went through that.. No one should ever.
Sadly most rapists or sexual assaults has nothing to do with sex, but it has everything to do with power and control.

Sex is used cause it's also the most degrading thing that can happen to a person..
I was raped as an tween-ish... By a kid who was younger than me..
He used an object to rape me... He had total control over me and my body... He did the most degrading thing he could... The same thing he was using to beat me with, he used to rape me.
He failed the first time he tried to shove it in, then moved my shorts over so he could...


Sorry... I still get upset over it, as you do to.. It's ok.. You are normal!
Just as I am too. If you ever want to talk/vent drop me a line
( or any one else out there).

Hang in there...


Notalone00

I had a very similar experience. It has been a huge source of shame for me over the years and a huge hindrance in my recovery process.

What I have been told by my therapist is that the body simply reacts to stimulation. Think about when you are tickled and you laugh. Does that mean the situation is funny? No, it doesn't. You just laugh because of the natural reflex that is ingrained in your bodies design. Likewise, when you are sexually stimulated you react to it. Does that mean you liked it or wanted it? Not a fucking chance but when someone touches you to cause stimulation your body just reacts that way. It is a reflex like blinking or sneezing.

I know that (first hand) it is very difficult to let go of the shame surrounding orgasm and sexual assault but believe me it wasn't your fault.