Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
so i was raped in october 2009 but also in late january 2010.....and last year in december i was able to block it out, by having a fling with a friend from high school........i knew deep down that i was raped, but i coped with it by having sex and then when i stopped seeing a guy in november i connected with a high school friend and used him for his sex so i could cope....we never spoke to each other again.....me and this high school friend.....well i'm still accepting the fact that i was raped in january......a few months ago, like maybe in september or august i told my therapist about it and we confirmed that i was raped in january.......basically since the anniversary is approaching i'm extrememly depressed.......i don't remember feeling this awful after my first rape.....ususally self injuring is off limits when it comes to my rapes, but i feel like if it weren't for the holidays i would be self injuring a lot because i don't wanna feel this depression.....i'd rather feel the pain of the injuries.....but, anyway....anyone have an input or a reason why i may be feeling so depressed about this???? i was a receptionist at a psychiatrsit's office and i was forced to meet a patient after work-he said he'd kill himself if i didn't-and then he forced me to get in his car and then raped me and made me do things to myself and him.......i don't remember much.....i don't remember what he looked like or really anything....i remember he drove a black SUV....that's all i remember about him.....please help.....i just want january to be the same before this happened.....yes, i'm in therapy and we are working on this, but i still need some input here.....please
My most horrible anniversary is new yrs eve. So I dread the whole months of nov, dec, everything leading up to that night. It's a very heavy weight to feel.
If this can be any comfort with not remembering, here's what I was told once;
Your brain allows you to remember what you can handle when youre able to handle it. It's your body's way of protecting you. Like a defense mechanism, a way to cope. This has really helped me over the years, though it was hard to grasp at first.
After my new yrs trauma, I tried very hard to block it out, and had a lot of sex. I also drank every day for about 2 years. Everything came to a hault and hit me like a train one day...I started to remember. Couldnt stop remembering or seeing what happened.
So now I don't drink everyday. I take the good days with the bad. I still get flashbacks, and have the opposite problem with being intimate now, it's really hard for me. All I see are the bad times and it's really hard to block out. I see a psychiatrist as well and take meds, its helped immensly.
Feel free to talk or vent whenever you need too. Write me. i hope you can find some comfort in knowing youre not alone on this. A big gentle hug for you, my heart and thoughts are with you on this ;)