Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
It's still difficult to talk about what happened.
I don't think about it everyday anymore, but I still can't help feeling like it changed me into someone I wasn't meant to be.
I was raped when I was 7 years old by a man in my neighborhood.
The man's son was one of my best friends growing up, and although I don't think he ever knew about what his father did to me, I wish that I could tell him so badly.
I know it wouldn't be appropriate at this time, given the fact that it has been well over 10 years; but sometimes I just wish someone could feel the burden that I still carry.
Being raped made me afraid of people.
To this day, I have trouble starting conversations with people due to social anxiety. I am also very uncomfortable around men who are much older than me.
I don't mean to say that I feel uncomfortable around my father, but I do around men who I am not close with.
For instance, if I happen to be in a situation at work where I am alone in a certain area with an older man I feel panicked and that I need to leave immediately. This even happens sometimes with some of my uncles or even my fiance's father. It's not like I feel that they're going to harm me in anyway, but the thought of being there alone with them and their presence makes me very anxious.
I sometimes feel very strange whilst having sex with my fiance. Certain things he says to me or something that he does can greatly change my mood and I can become very distant after that time. He doesn't mean anything by the things he does or says but in my broken mind, those things take me back to my rape.
I truly don't believe I would be this way if it hadn't happened. I try to look at the positives everyday and to forgive the man for what happened, but it's hard at times.
I shut down. I get extremely angry. I have anxiety attacks.
And while some of that is part of my genetics, I can honestly say that I don't think it would be this bad if not for the trauma of my youth...
I don't think about it everyday anymore, but I still can't help feeling like it changed me into someone I wasn't meant to be.
I was raped when I was 7 years old by a man in my neighborhood.
The man's son was one of my best friends growing up, and although I don't think he ever knew about what his father did to me, I wish that I could tell him so badly.
I know it wouldn't be appropriate at this time, given the fact that it has been well over 10 years; but sometimes I just wish someone could feel the burden that I still carry.
Being raped made me afraid of people.
To this day, I have trouble starting conversations with people due to social anxiety. I am also very uncomfortable around men who are much older than me.
I don't mean to say that I feel uncomfortable around my father, but I do around men who I am not close with.
For instance, if I happen to be in a situation at work where I am alone in a certain area with an older man I feel panicked and that I need to leave immediately. This even happens sometimes with some of my uncles or even my fiance's father. It's not like I feel that they're going to harm me in anyway, but the thought of being there alone with them and their presence makes me very anxious.
I sometimes feel very strange whilst having sex with my fiance. Certain things he says to me or something that he does can greatly change my mood and I can become very distant after that time. He doesn't mean anything by the things he does or says but in my broken mind, those things take me back to my rape.
I truly don't believe I would be this way if it hadn't happened. I try to look at the positives everyday and to forgive the man for what happened, but it's hard at times.
I shut down. I get extremely angry. I have anxiety attacks.
And while some of that is part of my genetics, I can honestly say that I don't think it would be this bad if not for the trauma of my youth...
Sorry to hear about what happened to you. Sexual violence is always traumatic (especially when you are a child) and definitely can and does stay with us for the rest of our lives. I know what you mean about finding it difficult to trust again... I have the same issue. I also face anxiety when doing certain activities that remind me of the assault (although I have never been sexually intimate). I hope that your fiance has been a great support to you through the time. We are all here for you!
Do you see a therapist or anyone for what happened to you?
my advice - talk to someone close to you or a therapist (depending what you are more comfortable with). go into detail which will be hard but trust me, if it is on the surface already a huge weight will be lifted. you do not have to tell people what happened to you, but if you let people know around you about how you feel, such as tell your manager or something that you are uncomfortable around men and explain that you were hiding it before but feel the need to say and say the reasons are personal and you do not want to give details - they cannot force you to say any more. try to focus on other things in those situations, such as counting to 10 or thinking of a nice memory. it may help to carry something like perfume or a rape alarm for your keys, and when you feel uncomfortable just have a look and see or feel them as this is calming. if you have a picture of someone or something you love with all your heart keep it with you for support and/or an item which comforts you. i know it sounds daft and at first you'll think so but after a while you will find you are channeling your fear and bad energy into these things and it should settle. all of these things helped me but i don't know about you, sorry it is long winded but i know how hard it is so want to offer you the easiest and most efficient options. let me know how you get on. good luck x