Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
Hi guys, I was raped a long time ago but I've only just realy started to understand what was actually happening, which has caused a lot of wierd feelings for me. I'm sure a lot of people here will have been dealing with these feeling for a long time and will know what I should do or what is normal and how I can help myself.
Well I was raped weekly for a few months by my ex boyfriend (who was abusive in other ways too) I was 16 and he was 18, im now 21. Basicly he used to maniupulate me into drinking loads and even I think spiking my drink (although im not totally sure) Then he would rape me while I was unconcious, or even just disorientated, while I was very drunk but still concious, I would try to push him off but he wouldn't stop. Sometimes I would wake up to find him raping me in a cold bath. Sometimes I would wake up from a regular sleep to find him raping me.
I know this boy had a fetish for having sex with unconcious or maybe even a fantasy of having sex with the dead, but I feel so so sick to my stomach that I was ever a part of this sick perversion. I feel hurt that even though he could have sex with me normally if he wanted he still wanted me to have no part in this game, or even be awake for it. I don't feel like I could ever tell anybody without tainting thier relationship with me.
I've only just started to realise that this was rape, and just because he was spiking me, instead of physically holding me down, doesn't make it any easier.
I just dont know where to start healing from this, i'd be so grateful for some help or some new friends.
Well I was raped weekly for a few months by my ex boyfriend (who was abusive in other ways too) I was 16 and he was 18, im now 21. Basicly he used to maniupulate me into drinking loads and even I think spiking my drink (although im not totally sure) Then he would rape me while I was unconcious, or even just disorientated, while I was very drunk but still concious, I would try to push him off but he wouldn't stop. Sometimes I would wake up to find him raping me in a cold bath. Sometimes I would wake up from a regular sleep to find him raping me.
I know this boy had a fetish for having sex with unconcious or maybe even a fantasy of having sex with the dead, but I feel so so sick to my stomach that I was ever a part of this sick perversion. I feel hurt that even though he could have sex with me normally if he wanted he still wanted me to have no part in this game, or even be awake for it. I don't feel like I could ever tell anybody without tainting thier relationship with me.
I've only just started to realise that this was rape, and just because he was spiking me, instead of physically holding me down, doesn't make it any easier.
I just dont know where to start healing from this, i'd be so grateful for some help or some new friends.
Let me know if you need anything, or have any questions.
I know because I was raped when I was very drunk and the memories didn't surface for 20 years. In the mean time the whole thing had been giving me nightmares and anxiety.
IMHO, the best way to start healing s to allow the feelings, be honest with yourself, talk about it and connect to other survivors. I'm here for you if you want to 'talk'.