Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

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Is it good, bad, or does it even matter?

101swoop101
101swoop101
I have some letters I wrote after I was assaulted...I tried throwing them away, but for some reason I cant. I was able to throw away the others, but it was2 I wrote after & I think the other I wrote in college, & I just can't let them go...they almost feel like apart of me. Is this bad? Is it good for me to hold on to to these things that hold me back? They just remind me of what happen, & puts me down whenever I read them.

I sorta feel like I am those letters, per say. I used to carry them in my wallet or bag, everywhere I go, & now Im able to leave them home a little bit more. But it still dont feel right to be without them...wierd, I know, but I cant help how I feel.
deleted_user
deleted_user
hi
I think I understand your need to hold onto the letters. I might be wrong, and I apologize if I am but I'll do my best to help you.
I think you need to take some time for yourself and think about what the letters mean to you, like why they are so imporant. it could be because they remind you of what you went through, they remind you of how far you've come,...etc.
In my opinion, there is no right or wrong thing to do with them, it's a personal choice.
What happened to you is not who you are, it's not all of you. It's part of you, and it's shaped the person you are now, but it isn't all of you.
Think about the qualities that make you up, and it might be easier for you to see that you aren't just a victim.
It sounds like maybe you're a little connected to the person you were when the letters were written. is there something you need some peace with? they bring you back to that time in your life, but why do you need to go back? it seems as though there's something subtly bothering you.
I think if you try to figure out why the letters are so important, what to do with them will become more clear.
good luck with everything!
love,
rr
deleted_user
deleted_user
Not in my rape but I wrote a letter to the man who raped my six year old son and it hs helped me heal trememdously. I had a difficult time doing it but did and sent it to him. You may never want to send this but I think you did the right thing in putting it down on paper is is a great step forward to healing..Hugs and I hope you feel better..M
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi.. what I think you should do is.. BURN them... then it'll feel like ur burning the memories... Thats what I did and it help a little
101swoop101
101swoop101
Im just now realy reading the replies, & I really do think I am attached to the letters. I don't really read them because alot of times when I do, I get depressed. I feel if I throw them away, that Im throwing me away. I guess I do need to figure out the conection between me & the letters, like RR suggeted. Then when Im ready, burn them like scaredandafraid suggested. & thanks reborn1971. Writing did help me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
my tharapist told me to write my feelings down about it and throw it out but it was hard and very emotional i guess its cause its all inside we also wrote fake letters to the ones who hurt us and in the end we learned.... what would change if you talk to them? is there something he could say that will make everything go away or better? its very true when i read my 4 letters
deleted_user
deleted_user
When the time's right, you'll know what to do about the letters - whether that's burning them or just throwing them away.
There's no point forcing yourself to do anything about them until you feel good and ready - for now, why not just put them away somewhere safe until you're ready to make a decision about them? You've got all the time you need to figure it out.