Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
I live in a small college town and I still see him everywhere I go. I saw him today in the library, often on the bus, he lives in my apartment complex now and I have seen him at the gym here too. I purposely avoid places I know he sometimes goes but I HATE letting him have that power over me. I avoid the apartment complex gym. I avoid the buses (even when its snowing) and I thought just a quick 10 minute visit to the school library would be safe but I was wrong. I have even seen him in my favorite grocery store.
Does anyone else deal with this? How do you cope? What do you do? Every time it happens I feel a mix of needing to throw up, wanting to cry, anger, fear, but most prominently that I need to RUN, NOW. Sometimes I see him trying to charm other women and it makes me sick. I want to scream and tell them what he really is but I can't find my voice.
I have been seeing a counselor but we havent gotten to this yet. It sets me off in a very strange mood for the entire day after I see him, wherever he is skulking around. I thought I was getting past this. I don't want him to matter whatsoever in any way to me at all, and these feelings I have when I see his fucking face . . . I just feel off. I can't pinpoint it. I am at a loss. I need help.
Does anyone else deal with this? How do you cope? What do you do? Every time it happens I feel a mix of needing to throw up, wanting to cry, anger, fear, but most prominently that I need to RUN, NOW. Sometimes I see him trying to charm other women and it makes me sick. I want to scream and tell them what he really is but I can't find my voice.
I have been seeing a counselor but we havent gotten to this yet. It sets me off in a very strange mood for the entire day after I see him, wherever he is skulking around. I thought I was getting past this. I don't want him to matter whatsoever in any way to me at all, and these feelings I have when I see his fucking face . . . I just feel off. I can't pinpoint it. I am at a loss. I need help.
IfYouCouldOnlySee
I deal with this too, and I wish I had a solution for you cause I know how difficult this is to deal with. I live in a small town and frequently see the guy who raped me at the store and around town, and a few months ago I went to a friends wedding and it just so happens that the man she married is friends with him and he was at the wedding (he was his best man.) and I couldn't leave because I was the photographer. He even tried to talk to me and asked me how I was. I was so angry that he would even be asking that I just said 'fine' and walked away. Not to mention he was with his girlfriend and I just couldn't stop wondering if she knew what he did. Every time I feel like I'm moving past this, I'm reminded when I see him that I haven't dealt with it at all and I completely fall apart all over again. I don't have any good coping mechanisms for dealing with this other than leaving where I am if I see him. I always get this sick feeling because when I think about him trying to talk to me at the wedding I got the feeling that he doesn't even think he did anything wrong, it still makes me so angry even though it's been 6 years. My best advice is to keep seeing the counselor, and im on here a lot too if you wanna talk (:
LoveAlice
Maybe if you can't say it out loud to your counelor you can write it out for them? I have done that before. I have been in your postition before and it's awful. I am so sorry.
Precious97
When I was first raped I ran into him everywhere. It got so bad that I eventually moved away. So yeah, I know how it feels I just don't know how to deal or cope with it.
summerholiday
That sounds very difficult to deal with, I'm so sorry that you have to. Make sure you get to that in therapy xxx
redtiger3636
the only reason you feel this way it because you have hate for him. your mad that hes does this not that you let it happen. seeing you attackers face sends you into shock because you don't know what to do. that why you feel that way. i know this because i have to see mine in college, but i changed my attitude of fearing him into i want to just break his knees with a baseball bat. the best thing and the only thing you can do it fucking smile at the bastard. it will drive him nuts seeing that you don't give a damn when truly inside it will hurt like hell, that only one way to feel better about what happened. you will never forget what happens i haven't and its been years, i just passed the anniversary and everything was making me upset. it will always be apart of you but it can be the part that makes you better and stronger.
Join the Conversation