I just had this memory pop into my mind while quite emotional for no reason, most likely my ptsd or anxiety/depression. It was when I ran away from home around 14-15 maybe, it wasn't the first time. But this time my mother called the police and reported me a run away. I ran away because of the emotional, verbal and psychical abuse i figured the longer i could stay away the longer time until i get slapped, slammed into things, things thrown at me such as hot food , chased hair pulled , literately sitting back against a door with my feet against the wall for hours while my mother pounded on the door, ran into it, kicked it. Put down for hours on end with no escape i did not dare walk away or say the wrong thing. I remember shed come in my room in the middle of the night trying to steal my cellphone ( that my grandma bought for and paid for so if i needed to get out i cud call her, the cops) but i kept it in my breasts and laid on my stomache. When she finally gave up shed whisper in my ear, I fucking hate you. Sometimes shed try and get it for hours, pulling , tugging , biting me , digging me , hitting. She only got it once and my older sister helped her. Not only did they want it so i cudnt call for help , but to look through it. they'd look through my entire room for journals and whatever else, sometimes steal my little bit of clothes i did have. I was abused both by my mother and older sister for years. My older sister molested me repeatedly as a child. Nobody knows and my sister thinks i dont remember. Around that same time my older brothers friend was molesting me too. I was basically abused in one way or another by everybody.

Anyway the police called my phone and i was staying with my bf at the time for a few days saying he knew where i was either he was gunna come get me or i had to walk home. Honestly i wish i just had him come get me, it was freezing and hey? Free ride, i was dumb. I just HATED cops. Still do. I get home and the cops are there my mother has her "broken tired mother" act on pooping cleavage to the cop crying ghost tears telling them how "worried" she was. The cops stands in my face screaming at me telling me what a terrible child i am . I try to explain that im sick of the abuse and her breaking my things, stealing them , i was clearly a traumatized battered child, it took me ALL the guts on earth to tell him this the RISK i took , all i wanted was someone to hear me and help me. He told me to shut my mouth , my mom could hit me all she wanted and she pays for my things so she can do whatever she wants with them. I was so hurt, so scared and so fucking alone. Of course the entire night my mom told me to park my ass on the couch and the verbal abuse didn't end until sometime in the morning, Then i had to go to school. Thats a whole nother story but u can imagine how school went for me, the "quiet weird girl that stunk and wore dirty old clothes" It was hell, to be brief.

I hate cops. And thats partly why. They NEVER helped me not ONCE. Even if I called them , nothing came of it i was always the criminal. I was Raped and threatened and tried talking to them a year later i was so scared and nothing was done, I called them multiple times for help from my mom and it was always my fault , always. I was always the Troubled kid with the mother at her wits end trying to "help me" WTF? I called them when i was assaulted by a man, broken nose, fractured neck. They thought i did it to myself ? I had multiple witnesses. Thats why i will NEVER trust the cops ill take care of it myself . EVERY TIME i called for help i turned into the criminal they where so BLIND they couldnt see something dangling in their face. MY mom was a DRUG ADDICT i was being ABUSED I AM a rape victim ( multiple times) i am a VERY traumatized person and was told my entire life the police were good they were supposed to help all they did was let it happen and blame ME then when i finally had enough and fought back i got locked away . Punished for standing up to my abuser. Yes i am angry. I should be. I will be writing autobiography. In detail. About a quarter way done, just so everyone knows, but it will most likely be shared anonymously because it would definitely stir people up and put alot to shame.