So.... it was in the begging of the school year of 2018 I had just moved from a small town to london and my friend who knew I was shy insited me to start on dating apps to meet people.... Stupid me I did and I had met this guy and he came over he laid in my bed and we watched friends. Then he started to makeout with me which was fine but, when he wanted to do more i told him that i hadnt dont it beofre so he got weird and left so i decied to go to class instead then i get a text saying he was sorry and to come back. NAIVE me told him we could meet up after i was back from class. That is exactly what we did. He came over and we went to my room and started making out then mow we had both gotten undressed and i just didnt know what to do (I wasnt really taught about sex my mom thought if i didnt know i wouldnt do it) he told me that if i did doggy style it would be easier and hurt less so i did it because i thought it was normal and when it started i wanted him to stop but i couldnt find my voice and my face was in a pillow i know it wasnt long but it felt like it took forever after he did what he did he told me i couldnt say anything because he was talking to this other girl. i got dressed and went into my best friends room and just cried she told me to go shower and i could sleep in her bed so i went and showered for what felt like forever beause i felt disgusting then he texted me saying he wanted to come back i thought we were going to talk my friend told me to keep my door opened and i did he came back and shut it saying he was sorry and HE COULD DO BETTER he wanted to do it again i tried to help him no and he asked why all i said was i just showered he said he woulnt make a mess and i could keep my shirt on i said no but cried for the rest of the night 

turns out he had a girlfriend and we all lived in the same building so not only sis he did what he did not i was a homewreaker and i feel terrible

I didnt even realized what had happened to me was rape until i was at a summer camp that summer i thought it didnt count because i invited him over i thought it was my fault it happened!! we were talking about being violated and i told them my story not thinking of it and then a girl came to comfort me and told me what i went through was horrible to this day i am not the same but i wont and cant tell anyone because my family will be crushed and i dont want to relive it in my mind.

i was scared to share this because so many people have worse stories and mine feels insignifcant. but, i felt like I did to say something so why not to people who dont know me