On St. Patty’s Day weekend I was at a party and I got really drunk. Towards the end of the party I was laying on the couch almost passed out. Everything was spinning and blurring out. My friend grabbed me and told me we were gonna go upstairs and when we got up there she took me into the hallway and pointed to a room and told me to go in there. I walked in and a guy closed the door behind me. and i was just standing there so confused and out of it. and he goes “so like I don’t want any strings attached or anything since i’m in college but if you’re down for this then so am I”. I remember feeling too drunk to do anything and I didn’t know if he would get mad if I left. so I sat on the bed and he kissed me and he asked if that was okay and it was. but then all of a sudden he sat down next to me on the bed and he got on top of me & he unbuttoned my pants. I don't remember him ever actually taking them off because I kept blacking out but I remember laying there panicking thinking there was no way out, thinking I was trapped. i was too drunk to function and I couldn’t figure out a way to make it stop. i remember being in pain. I don't remember him taking his pants off or penetrating me, I just remember the pain I felt once he was inside of me. my head was at the end of the bed against the wall and all i remember from there is slowly feeling my body just stop responding. i felt like it was a dream. it didn’t feel real. i didn’t feel anything anymore. and then my eyes closed for good. when i woke back up he was done. i turned over or sat up or something and he was standing over me telling me he used a condom. then he layed down next to me i think and asked how it was. i remember feeling violated and scared and blaming myself for not being able to do anything about it. I left the room and went to my friends to tell them I blacked out and he didn’t stop but no one seemed to think that it was an issue. but i did. and i still do and no one can understand how I feel right now. i’m ashamed and embarrassed and i feel like it’s my fault because I was too drunk to stop him. I physically couldn’t comprehend anything or speak too many words or have the power to get him off of me. I felt trapped and scared and helpless and now whenever I close my eyes I picture myself back in that room wishing someone would come help me.