So I have been trying to help my cousin deal with her rape. In the midst of talking she asked me about our grandpa. The very grandpa that groped my boob and though it was ok ad told me not to tell.
She told me he told her.... I TOOK IT THE WRONG WAY. HE WENT TO GIVE ME HUG AND ACCIDENTALLY BRUSHED AGAINST MY BOOB. UGH, I WAS SOOO MAD. I MEAN RAGGING MAD AND I STILL AM.
I asked her if he was so innocent then why can't he look me in the face? Why can't he work for the SA team anymore? I said because he's guilty. She processed to tell me that he grabs her a certain way that makes her feel uncomfortable. I told her that might be your grandpa but just be careful and watch out for him.

But oh my god. I have like an anger problem and so many horrible things are going through my mind. I know if I hurt him I will lose everything. So when I calm down I realize that I don't have to be mad because I didn't do anything wrong. I don't have to prove anything to anyone because I know the truth and so does my husband, my parents and GOD.

I will keep reminding myself that he doesn't have power over me or my feelings.

When I see him and he cowards with his tail between his legs, I have the power to make him feel the way he thought I would. I will not let anyone put me into the darkness I fought to put behind me and it's not ever going to win.