Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
I feel like I am hurting so much. Like there is something black and evil under my skin. Like slut has set up a home inside my heart. Like my rapist just keeps coming back to me. I have fought for so long and I am just getting so tired. I feel like I am losing my battle. I have not cut in so long but now my left arm is just a mess.
Mostly I think I want to die, That there are so many good reasons for this but I just can't do it. I am afraid of what is on the other side or what happens when I am not successful. That has happened before and cutting brings me pain and blood but not death.
But it also brings me shame. I am so afraid people will see it and judge me. I'm just hurting so much and the people that know keep telling me what a good, smart and caring person I am. That they have never seen a dark part of me EVER. That it is the fault of the person who raped me an not mine. But I feel it growing inside me. I feel it wiggle under my skin like I just want to drag my nails deep into my and rip it out.
what am I supposed to when no one sees it and I just want to cut or worse. I can't think anymore.
Mostly I think I want to die, That there are so many good reasons for this but I just can't do it. I am afraid of what is on the other side or what happens when I am not successful. That has happened before and cutting brings me pain and blood but not death.
But it also brings me shame. I am so afraid people will see it and judge me. I'm just hurting so much and the people that know keep telling me what a good, smart and caring person I am. That they have never seen a dark part of me EVER. That it is the fault of the person who raped me an not mine. But I feel it growing inside me. I feel it wiggle under my skin like I just want to drag my nails deep into my and rip it out.
what am I supposed to when no one sees it and I just want to cut or worse. I can't think anymore.
it's NOT your fault..and there are A LOT of things to live for. i'm in the same boat as you. killing myself weighs heavy on my mind a lot of times...and the same thing that keeps you from doing it is the same thing that keeps me from doing it.
i can understand where you're at...the negative outweighs the positive. there are more reasons for you to "give up" than live. but it's all in your head. i know this, but i don't believe it just yet...and i have a husband, a son...four of the greatest friends...and yet, i still go towards the negative.
...hang in there. we can get through this. we've gotten through the evil act. we are strong. we can do this. life is the test of all time for us. we need to band together and get through it.
...keep your head up...even when you feel like putting it down. walk tall. we can make it. you just need to keep on trying...and when it gets to be too hard...try harder. reach out, like you are now.
.......be safe. you aren't alone......