I was raped may of last year. It was someone that I knew. I am 23 now but I was 16 when I met him. He was in jail and we wrote to each other, I fell in love with him, he was my best friend. When he got out of jail after about a yr and a half, everything went bad, I realized that we would never be together and that my love for him was not enough for him. He knew very well I loved him yet he always did hurtful things to me. We would always lose contact after some time and we would always some how end up talking again, we would be intamate here in there. At one point we both sttled that it would be best if we were just friends. And thats what I was to him just his friend, he would call me or reach out to me when he needed help and I helped him. When I was about 20 maybe 19, he told me that he was going to be a father I told him i could no longer be his friend that he needed to get help from his girlfirend and that he should focus on his own life. Yet there would always be the calls and txts, they were forms of harrasment for he would do it non stop for days, just calling and calling. I would tell him to leave me alone that I did not want him to talk to me anymore. I was scared of him he had came over to my house one time with a gun thinking I was trying to harm, so i was scared of him. The second to last time I saw him he called and txtd me for more than a week until he finally gave up. I met someone whom I fell in love with and i started that relationship. After about 9 months of me being in a relationship my rapist started harresing me again. I feared that my bf would not understand the situation and think that this was someone i had some kind of interest in, i was scared he would see the harrasing as something more, like thinking that i was cheating on him. so i told my now rapist what he wanted from me, he told me that all he wanted was for me to go to the store with him and i told him that if he would leave me alone i would i agree to go to the store and nothing else. I made it clear that i did not want to have sex with him and so i lied to my bf and didnt tell him where i went. unfortunatly when i went with this person he raped me. i had to tell my bf and i did. he became angry with me because i lied to him rather than understanding that something had happened to me. we have tried working things out but he is constanly bringing things up for me, i love him and will do anything for him but idk if this is healthy for me, idk if i should keep trying if im going to keep getting blamed for being raped. He has told me that I basically should have expected for something like tis to happen to me and that i just keep making myself the victim. it hurts me so much, if i had known that was going to happen to me I would have never gone. What do i do? do i keep fighting for love?