Running away from your pain works for a little while, but at some point you will need to face it. It's you're only way of ever overcoming what happened to you.

Have you tried writing down your experience and the feeling you have towards it? For me, writing was the only thing that kept me sane beofre I was able to talk.

Take it slowly though. These are feelings that you have been keeping locked up because you aren't ready to deal with them. As you begin to face them you will probably feel like the pain is too much, but push through it slowly. It will be worth it in the end.

If at any point during this you need some support, or some one to listen, let me know. You can message me anytime, I check it twice a day.

Good luck, I'm with you all the way.

I know this is hard believe but IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! It took me a long time to believe this but it isn't your fault. Write a letter and write what you cannot say in that letter and hand it to your friend. Do this in private so not so many people will get in your business. Just say I need to give this to you. Read it and talk to me in private or call me on my cell phone if you want. I wrote emails to two people I trusted both responded in some form. Get help if you are feeling severely depressed. It isn't your fault and you did nothing wrong. You can also call 1-800-hope its a rape hotline. I hope I helped you in some way take care.

Oh it is so true... writing things down is still the only way I know how to get things out. If I have something I need to tell my partner I have to write it down in a little love letter and leave it on his pillow. If I was face to face with any of you right now no words would come... there'd just be blankness. I completely understand, and I agree with the girls - at some point you will have to face it, and it will hurt, but as you push through the pain you will begin to heal. Only you know when is the right time to open up... it took me nearly eight years XX

i hid from my pain for awhile too. i'm just now ready to start facing it. My fiance knew since it happened, but he is the only one, and i've never actually told him out loud, i told him in emails. i've never actually told it out loud to anyone yet except the disciplinary board, and that was very limited, and i kept referring back to their copy of my statement, and basically put myself on autopilot to make it through that meeting. I just now for the first time, sent an email to someone i trusted here at school and told her kind of what happened, but i still can't say it out loud...guess it just takes time!

I have been there too... and i know a friend who has too... and her rapist is in prison... mine, well... it's a long story... and it has taken 13 years for me to finally see a counsellor just this year. My partner said it has helped and i've become a lot stronger since then... in the years before I used to write a lot. I used to write a diary and all my negative thoughts would go down, and then i'd burn them when i felt that I needed a fresh start. That felt good...

All i know is that time helps... not just because time passes, but because as you work through things, as friends support you even when you can't talk to them, when they know nothing, just having friends there... and family... strengthens you inside...

One day you will talk... to the right person, at the right time.

It took me 6 years to tell my mum what happened... and even then it wasn't in detail.

There is NOTHING to be ashamed of to hide... I battled with it all being my fault for many years... I still have moments when I wonder... and then I remind myself NOONE deserves it... and I am thankful to be alive.

You have so much support here... keep holding on... and keep looking up
xxx