I'm a 48 yr old women who was drugged and gang raped at 16 yrs old. A year ago I had a break down and I was diagnosed with PTSD, Depression and Anxiety. As much as I thought I was over what had happened so long ago, I was NOT!  I had not put the hard work in required for proper healing and the reprecussions on my life had caught up with me. I started seeing 2 therapists, who I still see now, and started working on me and the false perceptions I had created in my head for so many years. My husband ordered me this workbook: 'Ressurection After Rape: A guide to transforming from victim to survivor' by Matt Atkinson. I started working through the book with one of my therapists and it was really tough at times but WORTH IT!!! I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is looking for healing from rape. Now the reason I'm posting today is not only to share my story and this great tool/resource for healing, but also to complete my final assignment in the workbook: Write a letter to future survivors. So here follows my letter to anyone who is seeking to heal from their rape and move from victim to survivor. 

Dear Future Survivor,

The path ahead may seem daunting and scary (or terrifying!!) but it will be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself. The idea that time heals all wounds does not apply to your trauma (trust me!!!). Unless you take an honest look at it and work through how your rape has affected your perspective on yourself, those around you and your life, no amount of passed time will heal this wound. It is time to find your voice and your power (Wise mind and Warrior mind) so that you can move forward in your life feeling true happiness, peace within yourself and having grace with yourself and others.

Take the time to reflect during your journey so that you can see how far you’ve come along the way. Celebrate small revelations as they can make a massive positive difference in your life. Don’t let the bad days keep you from continuing the journey as those bad days, I found, were particularly important for observing myself and the messages I was giving myself and then using what I observed to reflect on. Those times of reflection on bad days typically brought about the biggest changes and ah-ha moments that transformed me from a victim to a survivor.

It will not be easy but it will be worth it. Some days you won’t want to face any of it, and that’s okay as long as you get back into it again. Take baby steps, one day at a time, and when you sidestep get back on the track. Finding the real you and your light within is life altering.

Here are some little quotes/thoughts that really helped carry me through:

• “What you resist persists” ~ Carl Jung


• I am worthy of love, joy and peace


• I am more than my past experiences


• Great things are achieved thru small steps


• Be your dearest friend. Ask yourself: What would I say to a dear friend in this situation?

You deserve this no matter what that little voice in your head tells you. YOU ARE WORTHY OF WHAT YOU DESIRE. You are not alone, millions of rape survivors are praying for you and cheering you on, including myself ♥️.

Yours in light & love,

Marie-Jo