Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
I've been reading a lot of posts lately that talk about the benifits of counselling and talking about things but I think a big part of my problem is that I don't know what to say and whenever I even try to think about what i want to say my thoughts just go in circles and it makes no sense so i guess my question is this, what is it that you have found most useful sharing and how has counselling helped you?
It's also good for jotting down triggers and stuck points.
Get those thoughts circling in your head, our of your head, by going to a counselor.
I also have a workbook that I use called (I think) "Healing from Trauma and Abuse" that helps you work through your thougts, feelings and beliefs. I've found that it reminds me that I make all of my decisions and choices in life, and if I don't, I need to change something in my life. It reminds me that I can say no to anything. It goes back to basics - it seems like we are dealing with so many feelings and emotions and our heads are spinning so much that we have a hard time going back to basics. It seems so simple, but at times, simple is good :O)
Of course, this site has given me the support I've so desperately needed when I felt like I wasn't getting it anywhere else. This was my first step to dealing with my past.
In counseling, I am doing EMDR. It helps to process the thoughts and emotions and memories that are in limbo in your brain so they can be stored in the appropriate area of your brain. When a trauma happens, the event is not stored properly and that is what can cause so many problems for survivors. Once these are processed, your reaction to triggers from the past are better controlled and not as disturbing.
Some days, when my anxiety has been very high, we will just talk about whatever is on my mind at counseling. I've been seeing my counselor for a year now, once a week, and she knows me pretty well now. It's almost like talking with friend now. She validates a lot of my feelings and emotions and tells me something I could try to see if it would help. Her suggestions are trial and error type things, but I've had some work for me and still use them today.
You just need to find what works for you. My counselor told me at the beginning, we can start with one type of therapy, and if that doesn't seem to be working for you, we can try something else.
From reading what others have written about counseling on this site, I think you have to find the right counselor to fit your needs as well.
I kind of had so much to say but no way of saying it in any way that made sense!!!!! The early weeks of therapy were so helpful for me because I felt totally unjudged and trusted by the counsellor that what I was saying was important,that it didn't really matter whether it made sense or not. As the weeks went on I was able to begin to trust there was some sense in what saying because I was being believed, valued, respected all parts of me that I had rejected in myself after my rape. When it comes to counselling if you are with someone who is really trying to understand what it feels like for you it shouldn't matter if you make sense or not. That will come, perhaps that is one of the reasons to go, to help you feel less muddled with what it is you want or don't want to talk about!!
Take care
Debs
Currenlty, we are working on details. The little bits and pieces of my rape that I skimmed over in my initial account. I journal first, then read it over and over. Then, I take it in and try to talk it over with him. He is patient. I am determined. We, I think, are a good match.