For me, writing is my output. I had a very hard time with my counselor that ended not so well. She told me that I was not allowed to send her e-mails with things that I wanted to talk about or needed to get off my chest. But more often than not, there were things I needed to express during the week, and I could not remember them by the time session came around. Especially when things started getting very difficult with her, I wanted to express my concerns over e-mail because I fear confrontation, but wasn't "allowed" to. So I never got to express them and the relationship fell apart.

If you feel relaxed by writing, try writing out all your feelings almost as if you were writing a letter. Tell her how you feel she has changed, and you are confused as to why. Try to just rant. When you are done, you may feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. That's what happens with me. And if not, it at least has given you a stepping off point to maybe bring it up with her in person. The thing about counselors is they are there to help you. So I do not think that she will be offended by you expressing your feelings and being honest with her. Honesty and communication is one of the most important things in counseling. I unfortunately did not have either, and I do not want that to happen with someone you have trusted for 3 years.

Here is you need to vent. Just send me a message ^_^

For me, writing is my output. I had a very hard time with my counselor that ended not so well. She told me that I was not allowed to send her e-mails with things that I wanted to talk about or needed to get off my chest. But more often than not, there were things I needed to express during the week, and I could not remember them by the time session came around. Especially when things started getting very difficult with her, I wanted to express my concerns over e-mail because I fear confrontation, but wasn't "allowed" to. So I never got to express them and the relationship fell apart.

If you feel relaxed by writing, try writing out all your feelings almost as if you were writing a letter. Tell her how you feel she has changed, and you are confused as to why. Try to just rant. When you are done, you may feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. That's what happens with me. And if not, it at least has given you a stepping off point to maybe bring it up with her in person. The thing about counselors is they are there to help you. So I do not think that she will be offended by you expressing your feelings and being honest with her. Honesty and communication is one of the most important things in counseling. I unfortunately did not have either, and I do not want that to happen with someone you have trusted for 3 years.

Here is you need to vent. Just send me a message ^_^

I've never been to a counsellor for more than one year at a time - in my own experience that's usually been enough for me to work through what I need to, and then I can go away and do a bit more reading/work by myself until I'm ready for another 'round' in the future. But of course we're all going to have different needs.

Knowing what intensive/exhausting work counselling can be, is it possible that your current relationship with your counsellor might have simply run its course or 'burnt out'? It doesn't mean that all the support you've had from her in the past was a lie, it might just mean that it's time to try something different.

Don't worry about hurting her feelings, whatever the real problem is it's probably better to talk things out honestly if you can. Good luck.

And I also just wanted to add, I'm often finding that I have those 'lightbulb' moments during the week between counselling, and I'm not able to talk it out with her there and then.
Those are the moments when I journal about things here on DS, share it with this group for feedback, or even just jot it down on paper to bring with me to my next appointment.

Thanks for your responses Inverted and Phoenix although it does depress me more that you both predict that the end might be near. I would like to think that we would both know when our work is done and it would be a positive experience ending, this doesn't feel positive at all but how do you know when you are done?

To be honest, in my case it's not been a 'decision' so much to leave as the fact that my allowed number of sessions has expired. Maybe not ideal but we're talking about a charity that provides the help for free or at a very discounted rate, so I really can't complain.

On the plus side, it does at least give me a kind of 'goal' to work towards - right now my year is nearly up, so for the last few sessions we've been trying to focus on what I can do to move my life forward again, rather than trying to go over the past.

Another possibility is that you're experiencing one of those 'stuck' phases in counselling, they can sometimes happen before you arrive at some new breakthrough. If that gives you any more hope.
The only way to find out is talk things through with your counsellor, and see what you both think - just talking it out might be enough to help kick-start things in a more helpful direction again :)

Just another thought - who tends to 'direct' each counselling session? Do you go in with a kind of game plan about what you want to focus on this week for example? I know it doesn't always work out that way in reality, but you might be ready to try taking that approach.

At the end of the day, a good counsellor can ask questions about the issues that she thinks *might* need more attention, but at the end of the day only you really know what you need - even if it takes some work to find that out!