Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

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Can anyone else relate?

EmeliaK
EmeliaK
So, I have lied a lot. Over the years when talking to someone about the times I were abused, I found it easier to change some details. I would talk about the incident, but I would change the day it happened or the place. Or even the clothes he wore or that I was wearing, etc. I found that if I changed certain things, then it was a lot easier for me to talk about it. It made me feel safe and like I wasn't re-living the actual experience just by talking about it. Can anyone else relate to this? Does this make me a bad person?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Not at all, the lie tricks your mind in to believing what your saying is a story instead of what actually happened. It happens to a lot of people who go through traumatic experiences
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't know about you, but I am a very visual person. If I talk about it, I picture it and relive it. What works for me is I tell the person to ask me a question. When I answer a question it doesn't seem to have the same affect. Don't know if it will help you.
thegoober
thegoober
No love u are not a bad person. I have found myself doing things like this as well. I try not to though because I used to have a huge problem telling lies when i was younger. It made it hard for people to believe me. But I get that it is easier to talk about if you change certain little details. Hang in there

-m
deleted_user
deleted_user
I've changed certain things. Like I told someone that my boyfriend attacked me with a knife when the truth is that he raped me. (His penis was the knife). I did this because I wanted people to say things to make me feel better but didn't want to admit I was raped.
deleted_user
deleted_user
but I've learned the hard way that if I want people to care about me I have to tell it like it actually happened or not at all. If I say I was attacked with a knife I am lying and the response I get is not satisfying because I need the type of help rape victims need. (not the type of help victims of common assault need). If I simple say I was attacked then people wonder why I'm throwing a nervous fit so long after the fact. An attack could be anything and for all they know I'm making a big deal about being slapped.

When I want sympathy but don't want to admit to being raped I've tried simply saying I was attacked and I've used the metaphorical knife story a couple times. Neither approach is reccommended.