Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

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Body betrayal? *TRIGGER WARNING*

deleted_user
deleted_user
*TRIGGER WARNING*
*TRIGGER WARNING*
*TRIGGER WARNING*

This is something I havent really told anyone Im not sure how people would react, so please forgive me if I disgust you. Has anyone elses body betrayed them? When I was date raped by my boyfriend at 15, we had been fooling around before hand and I was already wet. He took advantage of me while I clearly begged him to stop. I never had an orgasm though. Through every other assault, and there were many, I never got wet, nor did I climax. I was too busy fighting, screaming, kicking But, there was one, one time, that my body betrayed me. I was raped by a coworker. Someone I had NO attraction to, and was actually kind of repulsed by. During the rape, even though I was SCREAMING and he was beating me, my body made itself wet. He was so well endowed, and so VIOLENT, that I had severe tearing and bleeding. In the middle of all of this my body made the ultimate betrayal. I had an orgasm. I almost feel like it was my fault now, though I cant think of any reason for it to be. I just dont understand and I finally feel ready to tell someone and ask for advice. Why would my body do this? Is this still rape? Ugh, Idk why Im even asking, I know it is. I just keep second guessing myself about this attack Please give me some input!!!
drbeaker
drbeaker
Yes this is still rape. Your body simply did what it's designed to do. The fact you got wet and / or had an orgasm is a natural response you can't prevent. it doesn't mean you wanted it.

Imagine I poked you in the eye. What would happen? It would water and hurt, right? Could you stop that reaction no matter how much you wanted to? If you REALLY didn't want it to hurt, could you stop it?

Your sexual response is similar and you couldn't stop that either. Don't feel guilty or ashamed of orgasming. It's normal.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Our bodies are made to get pregnant and have babies. Sometimes it gets painful, then all of a sudden, our bodies kick in a survival mode and make sure that we dont get too hurt. I firmly believe we get wet for two reasons, to let our partners know we are accepting them (cos they are often too dumb to even bother checking), and to protect us when they are big and we arent used to it. You were raped and your body didnt betray you, it saved you from greater harm. An orgasm is just what happens when mechanically your body is penetrated, at the right depth and the right rhythm. Tell me about the feeling of betrayal.......God I am so having to get over that.....
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you for the replies I had a total breakdown after I posted this. I havent shared this with anyone. Ever! And I am the sort to share everything with anyone who will listen. I must have blocked out this detail though. This particular assault happened over 3yrs ago and I just remembered all the details this week while writing in my book. I have been struggling with it ever since. I feel like I did something wrong now. That it was my fault. I also realized that I dont think I got wet when it happened, I actually think it was all of the blood. Anyway, I broken down crying hysterically. My fiance has never seen me like that. Thank God my daughter was asleep! It took me a few hours of talking, but I finally told him. He tried to reassure me that it was just my body doing what it was made to do, but it didnt help. It just makes me HATE myself, and my body, even more than I already do. To top it off, he said "If what your telling me is true, than it wasnt your fault" Ok, so now is IF what Im telling you is true?? IF!? Sigh. Why would he say that!? I am so lost right now
deleted_user
deleted_user
yes it is still rape. What happened for u was just ur bodies natural reaction. That does not mean that u wanted it. Sometimes we just need to talk about things that was confusing. It was terrible. Don't hate yourself because of what happened. It is not uncommon in some cases.
deleted_user
deleted_user
@mom2ktneme, Do you really think its common? I feel like Im all alone with this one......
deleted_user
deleted_user
every time i was raped by my now exbf i said No, but i always got wet. i have often thought about it like you did. but now i know it wasnt my body betraying me it was doing what come natural to it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Mine didn't protect me and that made my injuries BAD. The one time it did happen... he used it against me.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yeah I do. I'm a psych major and my bf is a sociology professor. It is response that ur body was built for. Like a sneeze but obviously more personal. Everyone's experiences are a little different but u did nothing wrong.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you everyone!! I think this is the one major issue I am still dealing with. It is just SO hard for me to accept, or admit. It just makes me feel hurt and betrayed, and that I cant tell people or they will judge me, or think that I wanted it or enjoyed it. Which was very much NOT the case. I mean, some people say its common, but Ive never heard of it...
deleted_user
deleted_user
When I was 16 I was raped by two men in my apartment, the whole ordeal took 3 hours... during those 3 hours they raped and forced me to performed humiliating sex act on them, they MADE SURE I have Orgasms...

I tried to fight them but I was powerless they were big... Even before they actually had intercourse with me they FORCED Orgasms on me..

It was humiliating, it hurt ALOT but yet I had strong Orgasms, I felt like my body is betraying me, I was really confused... Luckily I did not contract STDs or get pregnant, physically I was not permanently damaged, but the whole ordeal messed with me for a real long time.

After extensive counseling I now understand that my body was working the way it was design to, and somehow it was some kind of self-defense mechanism to prevent more damage. it's like getting tickled.. whether you consent it or not if you get tickled you will always laugh.

I now alot better and have an active sex live, but I could only orgasm through rough sex , and during sex, i still have flashes of the rape scene repeating over and over again, especially when I am about to have an orgasm.
notalone00
notalone00
Now for the male side...or at least my side...
This is the exact reason why " everyone " believes boys cant be raped/abused... heck, you touch a teen or preteen boy, and hes erect... but that doesnt mean he wanted any one to touch him.. sadly guys show arousal loud and clear.. so " they must of wanted it!!"
Our bodies are made to act in the exact ways that they do... no matter how they are touched.
Please dont blame yourself, or think something isnt right just because you responded...
You are normal...we all have these issues.
Hang in there
annieoakley75
annieoakley75
This is absolutely normal. Your body is designed this way for a reason. It doesn't matter if you want sex or not- if the right parts are stimulated physically- then you will have a very real physiological response to it. There is absolutely nothing disgusting or awful about that.

Nothing at all! No means no means no means no. A physiological reaction does NOT mean yes. Ever. If you didn't give consent, then it's rape. No matter what your body reacted to.
bseas
bseas
Hi...How are you...I sent you a friend request as well...if you go to my profile. Then go my groups...click. Sister I Need You and there's a topic called Orgasm During An Assault...you may want to check it out...don't blame yourself for how your body responded!! its not your fault!! your not first nor will you be the last to experience this...just because this happen ..it doesn't mean that you liked it...it does not mean that you are not normal and unhuman...you are normal and you are human..most of your sexual organs don't have a brain. They cant tell the difference in when its a rapist or a lover...so don't do this to yourself ok...your still beautiful in every way.! and a very courageous person!! whenever you may want to talk..please send me a message..or you can call or text me...which ever one is comfortable for you ok...my number is 412-606-4665...pray that your having a good day!!
scaredt
scaredt
sweetheart it is not your fault. I have had this happen multiple times and it does repulse you and make you think that it was your fault but its not. I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. please remember that it is NOT your fault...hugs and prayers
deleted_user
deleted_user
It is NOT your fault! your body went into a defense mode to keep for having any more damage. It was rape, you did not want it so it was rape.
None of this was your fault, it was a normal physical reaction. You sound like a very brave person, just keep holding on.
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