I can't believe I'm actually writing this...admitting this out loud.  I was raped by my own brother in law.  I had been out with friends one evening and had been drinking...way too much.  My sister came to pick me up and took me back to her house to spend the night.  In the middle of the night I remember waking up to my brother in laws hands on me....touching me in all the wrong places.  I was still so out of it...still blacking in and out.  I remember bits and pieces of the assault...sounds, comments he made, thoughts I had.  I remember being afraid and confused at the same time.  I still have horrible flashbacks to this day and horrible dreams at night.  When I woke up the next morning it was all I could do to gather my things and get out.  I couldn't talk about the assault to anyone.  Who was I going to tell?  My sister...no.  My Mom...no.  Two months later I tried to take my own life and after that finally told my sister what had happened.  Her reaction was the last thing I expected...she was angry with me...she blamed me...she hated me.  Our relationship has been horrible ever since.  I can't believe where my life has gone over the past 3 years.  At times I feel as if should have reported the assault...but at others I know I did the right thing by not.  Has anyone else gone through something similar?