Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
I was raped last year, and now a year later, someone shows up on my doorstep, and says you have to be at court to talk to the DA again on the 31st. I don't think it's fair, that I have to go, I think it's because I think he was taking it to trial. But I love how the ones who were raped, are the ones who have to pay for it over and over again. You don't see them depressed, or upset, or crying, let alone scared, they get to go on living there life like nothing happened, while we try to deal with it the best we know how, and it's not very easy. Even when it happens more than once, instead of it getting easier everytime it gets harder, and I just think it's fucked up. When do we ever get a break, I mean it's a year later, and I don't want to go through it all again, and have to relive that night, just so they can what, give them a slap on the wrist. It's not right, and I don't want to go, I've been seriously thinking about just not going, and letting them just let him go, I could care less anymore, I'm not exactly ready to go tell another random person what happened, a year later, when they said there not even going to do anything. I just dont know what will happen if I don't go, and I will be forced to go anyways, so it's not like I have a choice in the matter. I just wish it wasn't so hard, I mean why do I have to relive that night, when they aren't even going to do anything. It's bullshit. Just thought I'd randomly vent, because I'm sick of pretending I'm okay, and that I'm strong, and that I can do this, when the truth is I'd rather die, then keep dealing with this everyday.
i know that there's sarcasm in this sentence...because i always use sarcasm like this...i just wanted to point out that i've felt this SAME exact thing.
it's "funny" how the people who didn't want this to happen are the ones left picking up the pieces. it's "funny" how people look down on us and tell us what we should be doing (ex: like telling us to "get over it" because it happened however long ago). don't they think that if it were a CHOICE to get over it, we would??
i don't know ANYONE who, if they had a choice to relive this nightmare, would choose to do so, instead of "move on".
and it's CRAZY how the legal system works. it's like, they're made to protect the bad guys. the victim reports the abuse, but they need to come up with the proof...the hard evidence...they need to sit in a room with the abuser, and a bunch of strangers and be JUDGED. they need to sit there and be RE-VICTIMIZED...re-traumatized...just to satisfy these strangers...just so that these strangers can decide whether we are lying or not.
i'm sorry...but that's bull. i tried to take my abuser to court...i was told months (almost a year) later that it wasn't going to trial because i didn't provide enough evidence. (shaking and crying and telling what had happened to me wasn't enough).
they let him go. and i dread every day...wondering if this is the day i'm going to run into him again...wondering what will happen to me or my son if he were to catch us in a deserted area...wondering what i would have to do to protect my son (because i honestly could care less about what happens to me)...
i would suggest to you, to follow through with this process. to strive to put this sick person away. even though what you say is right...they'll only give him a slap on the wrist. maybe they may say they'll put him away for 25 yrs-life...but the reality of it is, if they feel he's been on "good behavior"...they'll let him off earlier. i don't know why the legal system only works for the bad guys...
...i've always pondered becoming a "bad guy"...maybe i could get away with robbing a bank...or other things people are always getting away with...?
...anyway...i encourage you to stick with this...for as long as you can. being the "awesome" people that the legal system are, they may turn things around on you...say that YOU'RE going to jail for "perjury"...or some stupid whatever. they're the legal system, they can make up whatever they want and pretty much get away with it......
"....I'm sick of pretending I'm okay, and that I'm strong, and that I can do this, when the truth is I'd rather die, then keep dealing with this everyday...."
i feel you on this one...hang in there!!!