Rape Support Group
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.
that men make the most stupid asinine comments they can when they find out a woman has been raped. I have a friend male of course the minute he found out I was married to the man who raped me said don\'t you think you kind deserve it for staying in a marriage with him? Number one he never gave me one sign when we were dating that he could do that 2 me and number 2 no woman deserves a violation like rape. There is nothing a male can feel close to what a woman feels like when she is raped. I came as close as I ever came to punching him in the face. You definatly don\'t say that to some one who is a survivor.
However a word of warning from somebody who can be a full on man hater at times. It doesn\'t do you any favours hating men, only uses up a lot of energy plus there are some men out there who can understand, there are even some men out there who have experienced the same thing. Look after yourself but don\'t cut yourself off from men as a whole because you mgiht miss out on something worhtwhile,
take care,
L
Sorry you heard something like that from a friend, whether it\'s male or female it\'s still horrible.
At the same time, I have a couple (litterally, 2) friends (OK, one is my brother) who prove not all men are like this. They are highly respectful, only ask questions to understand me and my feelings but never about the attacks themselves, and would never dream of even implying that some tiny piece of what happened to me was my fault, no matter what I did. Because it\'s not.
My opinion is that most males are immature, self-absorbed and insenitive and thus fully incapable of understanding what it is like to be raped (the violation, the pain, the fact that it is NOT the same thing is rough sex etc) and that\'s why I believe most "men" are, in fact, boys. MEN have a level of maturity, the ability to step outside of themselves and the ability to be sensitive toward another person.
It\'s sad that the boys are everywhere and the men are essentially no where. But, they are there.
And by the way women can be girls just to point out that males are not the only ones who can be horrible with this subject.
No offense mayday, I found your response a bit harsh. I totally agree we shouldn\'t cut ourselves off from males since they aren\'t all bad. But, unfortunately, many are. It takes a lot not to loose faith in not just men but humans when you see how horribly they can react to this subject. It takes us all different spans of time and a different number of positive experiences before we start to see that not all men are going to react negatively.
I sure as hell dealt with that. I still do from time to time. Until my friend Paul and I met I thought with all my heart that men were God\'s biggest mistake. It took a lot of time and a lot of energy to get myself to put down the wall and take apart the belief.
So I am babbling but here\'s my point: it\'s hard for men to relate, a lot for whatever reason can\'t, but not all men are that way, and not all women are good.
Please don\'t give up on men, or humans, I\'ve come very close, but don\'t trust everyone outright either.
Good luck!
(mayday, I\'m not looking to fight just saying your response came off harsh to me)