Rape Support Group

If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape, this is the place to find support and get advice. If you want, discuss your experience, share your feelings, and meet others going through a similar situation.

1,912 Members

8,997 Posts

0 Online

rttsmom 04/28/2012

I allowed myself to be taken advantage of because I was afraid of what would happen if I said no. I did say no, but only twice and not aggresively. I was outnumbered. But I was in a hotel room, so I was close to help if I needed it. But I let it happen anyway. It happened about 2 years ago. I went to the police a year later, but I was so ashamed when I told them my story and they didn't start an investigation after weeks had passed. I felt like they were telling me my report wasn't important because of the circumstances of my incident. because I couldn't remember enough of what happened, and it wasn't even worth reporting. I know police are busy but I can't help feeling that way. I called and left the detective a message telling him that I'm no longer interested in the help of the police. But I still want justice. Maybe even revenge. I know thats wrong and I should forgive them, but I can't. I want to go back to the police and try again. But I have so many other more important things to think about. And 1 of the last things I want to think about is that horrible night. But I don't know what to do...

prettylitlefairy 04/28/2012

i am so sorry that happened to you! it's dreadful to go through something like that. but first of all it is not your fault! you said no. just saying no once should be listened to. and it should be enough. every case is important if it is causing you stress. do you have anyone trust worthy that could go with you to the police for support? have you tried visiting your local rape center? someone who really understands what you are going through could go to the police with you. i am also here for you if you ever need to talk. take care!

rttsmom 04/28/2012

i do have someone to go with me to the police, but i dont want to because when i told her about what happened, she didn't respond the way i wanted her to. i know i dont have control over how someone should respond, but she is my closest relative and i thought she would be much more upset than she appeared to be. she reacted as if being raped is just something women have to deal with in their lives instead of being angry and sad and determined to help me. i figure i would get better support at a rape center than at home. i also dont want to go to the police because i dont want my father to find out what happened. im too ashamed. thanks for listening prettylitlefairy.

prettylitlefairy 04/28/2012

i'm sorry she never really gave a the reaction you wanted but know that you shouldn't of had to deal with something like that. no one does! maybe someone at the rape center could give you more guidence on what your next steps should be. but please don't be ashamed of yourself you are very strong dealing with what has happened. caring hugs!

rttsmom 04/29/2012

Thank you. Your kindness, support, and advice mean a lot. I really love this website.

deleted_user 04/29/2012

Most rapes do not involve a lot of physical violence. The threat, the knowledge you are outnumbered and overpowered, is enough for most women. You said no and they didn't give a shit, no excuses for them, not your fault. Also, don't blame yourself for not forgiving them, or for fantasizing about revenge. You'll get over both things when you are good and ready.

rttsmom 04/29/2012

I have so many regrets concerning that night. And because of what happened, most men disgust me. The only men that I'm not repulsed by are the ones that I know deep down in my heart arent perverts.

deleted_user 04/29/2012

i m sorry for what happened with u. u need to know its not ur fault and choosing ur life wasn't wrong at all. and i do understand u don't want ur father to know. its sad being a woman ur relative did not understand. u need to support urself. get involved in something u like, meditation or just something tht soothes u. try not to be alone for long. shun the negative thoughts with ur best moments. take care!! u r not alone!!

rttsmom 04/29/2012

thanks silentsurvivor :)

deleted_user 04/30/2012

in working with young women and men,(the way I make this into a positive) we ALWAYS tell them that it is better to live, and not fight than fight and die.

You survived. Period. That is something to be proud of.

Unfortunately some stations are not as well trained and will tend to try to dismiss you. It happened to me

If you want to push the issue, contact the county, or state police. Contact your local sexual assault resource center. they can help to get your case taken care of.

rttsmom 04/30/2012

I never looked at it that way, msnova74. I guess because a close friend of mine told me that she would rather die than let somebody rape her. I never agreed with her, but what she said stayed with me and made me feel like I had no dignity or respect for myself.

Join the Conversation