you would think that i would know this but i don't......i need to know if something i experienced about a year ago was rape.....again, you would think that i would know this, but i don't...maybe becasue of my own distorted thinking or whatever....so here's what happened: J-i commonly refer to him as one of my abusers and now i don't know if he's my rapist, too-and i were at his house.....we were getting ready to head to his bedroom and have sex......we were kissing and he pulled my hair....i knew that it was an affection thing...i knew that....and i told him to stop.....and he did.....and then he got up and pulled my up and said,"c'mon....let's go to the bedroom".....i was kinda slow getting up so he yanked my arm and pushed me to the ground....then he twisted a hand in my hair and pushed me in front of him with his hand still in my hair.....i was in so much pain....i reached up to his hand and tried to release his hand, but he reached with his other hand and grasped both wrists...when we got to his bedroom he pushed me to the floor and went into his room....i was crying...and then he undressed and then picked me up and flung me on his bed.....he undressed me with my help and then we had sex.....i was afraid to resist him....at that point i just wanted ot go home, but i was afriad he would hurt me if i did anything.......he handcuffed me, something he always enjoyed, and we kept on having sex...the whole time he kept on pulling my hair and stuff.....it hurt but i never told him to stop.....i was afraid of what he would do....is this rape or just abuse????