I have no idea if this group is still going, to me there is no healing process, you never ever forget, its a life sentence you live with everyday, and I never found life after the Rape, my first marriage lasted about 6 weeks, I was simply no good in Bed, I did find my second Husband very helpful but did not really work for me, I was still not good on the sexual side, and this made my husband wonder to other women, but I stayed with him and had one Son, but being a victim of Child sex abuse at very early age I was over protective with my son, so as I call it ""my life sentence kicked in "" when I was pregnant I would pray it would not be a girl, I had even lost trust in all men, even my husband, so being over protective was not good but nothing I could do about it, I was always on edge would never leave my son with anyone, would find work that would fit in with my husband, he would work day job and I would work night job, just so scared of my son being touched by anyone, there was no help in my days as a child, you could tell no one, being such a young age when this started was shocking for any child to have to go through, I was just 3 and a half when it started, alone at home with this man they say is your Dad? my brother had started school my Mum was always working and this man worked night shift, now I feel sick talking about this all these memories, they have been with me for 71 years now, and still haunt me and still say ""Why"" but it happened to me and never got over it, The Life Sentence it took so much from my life, my husband died 9 years ago so now live alone with my little dog, but sometimes my mind never turns off when I go to bed, and just think about my whole life more so my childhood, I often think what if I had said something would anyone have believed me? and I don't think so in those days, things like that never happened then? but that is now being proved it did happen but too late for me damage was done long time ago, you say you are not alone! I was, never did well at school was always that little girl who never smiled or made friends sat by herself, and you would think why don't the teachers know something is wrong, but not in my days you would be classed as lazy. well cant talk anymore tonight, I just hope I have done the right thing by joining this dailystrengh healing process-life-after-rape. only found this site by chance, but maybe I might be too old for this and beyond repair this is the way I feel, but I do wish anyone who has been through this all my support on this shocking journey but there is so much help out there today, and nothing for me in 1947-1958 that totally wrecked my whole life.