Hey guys,

I am 6 months into my recovery, just need to vent a little and share my story.

It all started months before I was diagnosed. I had noticed my left arm was a little larger than my right. It was a small difference but noticible. I also started to blue veins from my heart to my shoulder becoming more prominent (collateral veins). Typical guy, didn't think anything of it. Went on a 2 week motorcycle trip to the states. Caught a cold / chest cold later in the trip camping at a cold coastal campground.

Symptoms of breathlessness didn't start until after the trip. It was terrible but I thought it was related to a chest infection which I've had before. Waited a week or two before even seeing a doctor (even though I could barely put tie my shoes). When I did I was prescribed antibiotics (so typical). Went back 2 times after no symptom relief and was prescribed inhalers twice! Brutal. I feel so stupid now but I toughed out these symptoms of extreme breathlessness and chest pain for 1 MONTH before finally saying; Hey, maybe I should head to ER.

So I go to the ER, assuming they will do some tests and I'll be out (I brought my golf clubs so I could practice after). Checked in with the nurses and got in instantly. I think my O2 stats were 88 and probably had been for a month or so. This was when I knew something was wrong. You never get into the hospital that quick. Chest X Ray and CT scan later and I was on Heparin IV drip. Pulmonary Embolism with no know cause. I couldn't think of a trauma, injury or any reason to cause it.

Was in the hospital for a few days discharged on Apixaban. Back a week later, with worsening symptoms. I was put on daily Tinzapirin injections and have been for 6 months.

I've gone through what I would assume is typical for all of us who have gone through this. I've felt depressed, lonely, anxious during these 6 months. Off and on of course. Activity was a huge part of my life. Snowboarding, mountain biking, weight lifting, golfing, yoga etc... I loved all of this and it was therapeutic as well as social for me. And I can't help but feel frustrated with friends who just don't seem to understand the severity of the effects of the clots. I find myself being frustrated when my friend asks me if I want to go work out. I feel like shouting at him "I wish I could! Don't you understand that I can't". Sometimes I do try and its brutal. Just shooting some hoops and I'm exhausted, and heart rate jumps up to 160 (chest monitor to measure).

Although I am mostly positive, its so frustrating to see little to no improvement. 6 months in and I don't feel any better. I am being referred to some specialists, but I think its just going to take a long time to get better.

Anyways, as hard as it is... Try to stay positive guys. I sure am. I believe that the body has a strong healing ability. I also believe we got this condition for a reason. We have to own up to the fact that we deserved this. When I say that I mean there is probably some aspect of our life which is not healthy, some cause due to our lifestyle. Try to do everything you can to support the body. Make sure you are getting quality deep sleep. Eat a healthy diet with lots of vegetables, some fruit, little protein, and some healthy fats. Even if we can't exercise most of us can still walk. I think that alignment within the body can affect clotting as well. I am working on restoring a natural posture (balanced). Try meditation as well since who knows how emotional stress affects the body and our condition. These are all things I am trying anyways, who knows if they help. But it makes sense to me that if you optimize the body healing capacity would increase as well.

Also one positive that came out of this, was a re-evaluation of what is important. I worked a job I hated for years. Could never find my passion. That all switched very shortly after my embolism. Of course I always put some thought into what I would possibly want to do. But I remember waking up one morning, and just knowing that I was meant to become a physiotherapist (also considering osteopathy). And that is the path I am headed down now. There is always good with bad.

Best of luck to all of you and thanks for reading my story,