Thinking of you Jazzy, don't feel like you are alone in this, or that we don't care about you.

Looking forward to hearing about your neuro apt on Friday!

Hi Jazzy,
I am praying for you, and thinking of you, because like autumnmuse is saying you are not alone and you are very cared about. Take time for yourself, we all need it. Karelstx

Hang in there, Jazzy. All things, both good and bad, pass with time. Weather the storm and rejoice in the sun. Just hang on, the sun will come out. (I'd better stop before I start singing Annie)

I hope today is better!
Bax

Jazzy:

As I mentioned once before, I too, suffer from horrible depression. And, I too, have suffered from horrible anxiety....although that has been better for some time. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have been to the depths of hell that depression can take you to. The hell that makes you say things to yourself like, "I'm not good enough", "I don't deserve the friendship and love of the people around me", "I'll never have a normal life", "I'll never be well". Just remember that those statements aren't real. That is the depression talking.

Are you taking an antidepressant? Does your doctor know that you are depressed? I take 150 mgs. of Wellbutrin everyday and although the dosage is low I find that it helps tremendously.

Hang in there. Like Bax said sunnier days are ahead.

MM3

Praying for you Jazzy. Hang tough and we will walk with you through till the end.

love you

Hi MM3,
thank you for sharing, I know there is still stigma attached to depression which always shocks me since it is proven to be a neuro chemical imbalance.
Yes, I take effexor and I am slowly upping it with the help of my Dr. I know those voices oh so well esp. that this will never end. I have had such severe depression before where I couldn't even get out of be. this is the first time I've had such bad anxiety along with the depression. I seen a health psychologist and also see a guided imagery therapist who takes a sliding scale and I go to a free weekly group guided imagery for people with chronic health conditions or have family members with health issues. Still I am struggling to feel better, the anxiety is the worst part since I dont like taking the anti-anxiety pill, so I just take a 1/4 of a pill to take the edge off.
If upping the effexor doesn't help (since it is supposed to help with anxiety I will ask about wellbutrin, I just know that effexor has to be tapered off slowly which sucks but oh well.
thanks again for sharing it made me feel not so alone. :) Jazzy

Thank you all for your loving words and great support...sad to say I don't even get that from my sisters so I can't even tell you how much you have helped me feel not alone and that people do care. many heart felt blessings, Jazzy

sorry for all the grammar and spelling mistakes, I had to take a phenegran (sp?) for my nausea and it messed up my vision a little bit. Jazzy

Jazzy:

Interesting that you bring up the anxiety topic. As I mentioned, I've been taking Wellbutrin XL for years. However, I suffer horrible insomnia. My doctor used to say that this was due to anxiety, as I used to feel a little anxious along with not being able to sleep. So for a few years he placed me on a drug called Seroquel. That medication made me gain a bunch of weight and I believe may be part of the reason why I now have IIH. (This drug has been linked to causing diabetes as well.) About a year and a half ago I stopped the drug and guess what? My IIH symptoms were greatly relieved. Unfortunately, the insomnia returned and I started taking OTC sleeping pills to help....and they did.

But here's the important part....

Last week, I ran out of my Wellbutrin and as I was feeling okay, I didn't take the medication for almost a week. And guess what? I was able to fall asleep easily and sleep through the night without any anxiety or medication! Unfortunately though, I started to feel a low so I started it up again.

So...could it be that like my anti-depressant....your anti-depressant is actually causing the anxiety? Just a thought.

MM3

(Oh, and this doesn't mean stop your meds. Just might want to ask the doctor if your anti-depressant could be the reason for the anxiety.)

MM3,
Just an FYI about Wellbutrin. It is well known to cause sleeplessness and anxiety (often a fluttery feeling in your chest). I took Wellbutrin for a couple of years and had to get off the extended release tablets because of this and go on the regular non extended release pills. Those you take twice a day-1x in the am and one around 5p so as not to interfere with your sleep.
However, eventually I had to stop the wellbutrin because of the added anxiety and chest flutters.
I have a long history with psych meds, both personally and educationally, so always happy to answer any questions,
Your Resident Slightly Mentally Unstable Group Memebr,
Lucy :)

thank you MM3 and Lucy,

Actually Effexor is an anti-depressant that helps reduce anxiety (but of course too high of a dose can cause anxiety, go figure).
My Dr's didn't think my effexor was working properly since I was having anxiety and insomnia, before this current event I could fall asleep very easily.

Very interesting about wellbutrin and the effect of anxiety and insomnia. I'm sorry that other medication you took MM3 caused you so many other problems. Amazing how medicine can help us and yet can cause so many issues.
I was on a med for my kidney transplant and the FDA took it off the market and my Dr. had me take a diff one and my anxiety went through the roof, that was awhile ago, and when I stopped it the anxiety went away..it was actually a medicine for a side effect of the immuno-supressents that I take. (sorry, slightly off subject).

Right now I have been on a slow increase of the effexor, I have another week at the current dose I am on and if I do okay will got to the next level and then check in with my Dr. It is funny because when my anxiety is better I notice more how I am depressed. Like the anxiety masks my depression. But I feel a little better and am not crying so much or feelings so hopeless. thanks for all your great help. Jazzy

sorry meant to say that my effexor was not working properly and that's why the anxiety was worse. Jazzy

Lucy

Thanks for the info. I'll have to check into the short release Wellbutrin.

BTW....just curious...but, outside of PTC causing depression because it is a chronic disease....does anyone know if PTC causes depression from the actual pressure on the brain and/or a physiological reason?

Jazzy-
I'm so glad to hear you are beginning to feel better.
Bax

That is a great question MM3!
Wonder if there have been any studies done....perhaps another question to send off to the Foundation?

Jazzy, I am also glad to hear you are feeling less hopeless and crying less. Depression is a serious disease, just like PTC, and one that takes much strength to battle. You are a strong woman!