I have this secret.. that ok so long story short back in 11ish lik 10 years ago when I got into the marine corps there was this job sent that I had to be  focused for.. and so before I went.. to crame to support my family who's all disabled from my lik presidents job practically um I took lik what I called lik a gun round of lik prozac and Ativan and there was a xanny in the middle that was really really powerful and it was supposed to put me off long enough house arrest practically it was lik a od honestly but it stuck and then I need lik a ton of downers to wash it down ..it's lik the xanny will kinda always do the trick - it's just 24/7 my family is older than me even tho they rely on me and theyd need the drugs in that case they always get me a lil overly perfect and I guess we don't get each other's attitude then ? It's just as I got older I found myself better completely anal and just mint condition is lik my ..so anywho my family in town kinda kills me tho that lately they need lik help in .. because I'm lik super grossed out easily at anything but lik I cough gag I think it's totally gross to be around so many people who aren't as tall? So I find it to be lik a serious srious thing ugh but anywho lately I've been in and out of focus it's lik.. taking an emotional toll on my heart - that's not even the point I feel really misunderstood ? Kinda by this lik situation wat do I do..