I'm sorry your son is going through this. It is awful. I have been though it myself. I am on Suboxone right now and it helps tremendously. If I was him though, I would stay away from the Xanax. It is dangerous to mix the two together. I think he does need some sort of treatment facility. I hope he gets into one as soon as possible. Why did the hospital put him on more pain medication? Did they not know he is on Suboxone? I used to take more of my Suboxone and run out early like he does and I just decided it wasnt worth it. It doesnt even work if you take too much. You get a ceiling effect where you cant get high off of it. He needs to talk to his doctor about all of this and see what can be done. He is walking a dangerous line as you know. Is he in therapy? He needs to go to therapy with the Suboxone. It will help a lot. I hope everything works out for him. Please just try to get him to see someone or go into treatment. It is very hard to do alone. Good luck to you and your family. xxxxx, Shari

Thanks Hugless,
I am sorry you have had similar problems. It is a tough battle to deal with drug abuse.

You asked....
When my son was hospitalized he was given pain drugs because of severe pain in his stomach area. His colon was blocked and actually he started thowing up his bowels. They had to put a tube down him and suck all that out of him. He was screaming in pain through all of it. Yes, the hospital knew he was detoxing and was under Dr's care taking Suboxone. After he was realeased he went to his detox Dr. and was told that the pain drugs in the hospital set him back about a week in his recovery.

Now over the last couple of days that he has been on Xanaz I suppose he is even further behine. Late this afternoon we were able to talk to him better and then found out he had taken Soma yesterday also. I am so sick right now with worry that I really feel I could colapse and die from a broken heart. The pain is extremely awful to deal with.

Now as mentioned I will wrie of my daughterinlaw problems. She is addicted to prescription drugs due to a long time history of bing over medicated. She is disabled due to several back problems. Sh has become addicted to prescription drugs and then abusing them. Just this morning at 4 am we found her passed out on the garage floor. She was un responsive resulting in calling 911. She was taken by ambulance to the hospital. They did what can be done for overdoze and then around 10 am this morning she was released.

My husband and I didn't sleep because of both of their drug problems. We've made a decision that they will have to leave our home and go out on their own. Our pain is absolutely killing us

I feel as though I am sinking into depression again. I've had a tough year. My brother passed away, my sister passed away. I took care of her 24/7 for a long time. I have had cancer this year and my 96 yearl old mother had surgery for colom cancer. She came throgh it great though and is doing well. I just cannot take much more.

Thank you for writing to me. It mean alot to have friends that really do understand.

Here I am again in pain but it is lighter this morning. I have lost all faith in my daughterinlaw however I am in still holding on to faith in my son. He sis trying very hard now to change his life. His Dr. appointment is Sat. I hope there can be help for him then. He at the moment is drug free meaning he has not taken anything else however for certain his body became saturated with the meds he took. He is functioning OK right now which allowed me time to talk to him. I am confident his desire is to do the right things. I also am not confident he will be able. He seems to be looking toward us (my husband and me) for direction now on everything he is doing. We're telling him we will support him through this but we feel he needs much more help than what we can give. We are gently now inserting in our conversation stating of additional help for him. I am not 100% sure he needs an in house program but I think so. I am 1005 sure he needs extensive counciling. I do want my duaghtenlaw to be in a treament center and also am starting to suggest that to her. I'm so emotionally exhauted I can barely stay awake but when I try to sleep that is not working iether. I'm a mess but trying very hard to cope and get through this.

Hi, I have been reading your post, and was not going to respond until I saw the part about your D-n-L overdosing. If you have read any of the post on here you will know that I am not an Rx abuser, nor have I ever been one, but I lost my 26 year old brother to this addiction. I want you to know that myself, and my family have been in your shoes, but don't think for one second that your son or your D-n-L will not lie to your face, and say the things that they know you want to hear. I am sure that most anyone in this group would tell you they have lied to their loved ones just to smooth things over, and go on looking for their next place to get their Rx drugs, if its legally prescribed or not. This type of addiction is what took my brothers life. He was with a girlfriend that he had for about 6 weeks, this girl did her pills, got high, and passed out, my brother did the same as the girlfriend, stayed awake kept taking and taking pills, and she was passed out in the bed while my brother died in the bathroom floor. You do not know how upset I am to type this right now, but it is the GOD's honest truth. My brother found someone that loved to get all messed up on pills just as much as he did, and the end result was him losing his life. What my point is is this: There cannot be 2 people with addictions trying to help each other, it just doesn't work, now for support like we all are trying to get that is different, but trying to help each other get off of these pills, that is almost immposible in the same household. I do agree with whom ever wrote you might need to have them both leave your home, not to be mean to them, but they BOTH need help. Your son sounds so much like my brother, in the fact that this addiction controls his life, please don't let it take his life. HE NEEDS HELP, he is going to make his addiction seem as minimal as possible, because he too does not want to face up to it completely. My brother would have been 27 years old on the 25th of this month (March). My family and I are in a horrible place from losing him, I would never wish these types of feelings on anyone else, please don't be scared to step on your sons feelings a little, he will not stay mad at you, and you might just save his life, and I am sure he will thank you for it one day. ALL MY PRAYERS, Leah

Leah,
You are an angel. Thank you for writing. I am very sorry that you have lost your borther. Addiction is a terrible thing. You understand where I am coming from and I understand you. I am praying that I do not lose my sone.

Things are better right now. Actually as I type he is on his way to his Dr. His appointment actually is for Sat. but he called the Dr. and they are getting him in today.

I understand the lies you are speaking about. I've been many years dealing with this. When he was younger he beat the alcholol problem and has been clean from that for 10 + years. I don't rememer the exact time.

Even though I know he is very cabable of lieing to me I am 100% certain of his intention to beat this problem. My DnL is another story. She continues to lie and just like you said she will say anything that she thinks will ease up the pressure on her and give her the time to find her next pills. Initially I had faith in her. No the is 0 faith in her. They are married so it is difficult to put one out without the other. I have layed law down with the next step I will take which is to put both of them out if they do not follow the home rules and the direction I have given them on a road to recovery. I won't back down from what I say no matter how hard it is.

There are many things that contribute to a persons lifestyle. Some are heredtaty however if the will is strong enough there can be a happy drug free life. At this point I can only hope that I do not have to take the next step and remove them from my home

And when he gets back from seeing his Dr. I am hoping there will be another step forward. He understands the seriousness of all this. Please say a prayer to help him be strong and beat this. I know his Dr. is going to be sick that he relapsed in his treatment. The relapse will certainly set him back in the treatment plan.

Thanks again for you advice. I guess the DnL touched you since your brothers girlfriend was doing very similar things. This girl (now his wife) has pulled him down just as your brothers girlfriend did.

I like you have never been a user of anything more than my coffee cup and the computer. There are many family members that have addictions but I never even tried smoking as a child. I just stayed away from anything that I felt was wrong. Gosh! I remember my father saying that the kids now days (meaning in the 60's) were so bad. Maybe some were but certainly not my friends. I even got a 10 year pin from my church for not missing a Sunday. OK, enough of myself.

With luck my next post will be more positive. I hope that if anyone else is having similar problems as mine that I can be just a little helpful. DS is a great way to give and get support.

OK, and now enough of my rambling.

I hope only the best for you, and your family. Their situation is very tough. Your son must have an addictive type personality, if he was an abuser of alcohol, and now this. I do agree that parts of it are inherited, and you must have a certain type of personality to not fall back into the same foots steps as other famliy members did. If you EVER need a friend feel free to get in contact with me. The one thing I want you to remember is that It most likely WILL get worse BEFORE it gets better. ALL MY PRAYERS, Leah

Leah,
Thank you for your support and offer to help. I pray I never get in another situation as bad as it has been recently. The DNL continues attempts to soften me. It is so obviouse it nearly makes me sick to think about it. I have told her to stop that her efforts are not working and never will. Drugs apparently keep a person from hearing the truths that are being told to them She just does not listen however I have all of her meds so she can only get them when I give them to her. I realize that if she wants more she could always go and get them off the street somewhere. I'm open to that possibility however we me having the medically prescribes ones I feel better. I don't want to handle them long term but for now its easing some of my stress and the constant worry. She making great steps forward right now but I've seem this happen over and over with her. She just falls again and again regardless of her promises.

My son is doing much much better. He is strong will and has made a committment to overcome this. After many years of the alcohol problem he made a committment to that also and did in fact stop. It's amazing how that all happend but since it did I do have hope in his recovery now.

For right now anyway things are better in our home. It's giving me time to focus on some other pressing issues and work. Thanks again for you support. I hope I can be of help to you at some point.
Thanks again.

I'm sorry as well as all the others about your son, you are a mother of an addict because I am the wife of an addict. I have more than MS, lots of back problems, some fibromyalgia thrown in and inflammatory bowel that went undiagnosed for so long, the bacteria is eating at my joints. My husband was always a marijuana smoker, he used to be a working musician and it kinda goes with that territory. I went to a doc I found on the internet, after my first long term primary care doc had to call it quits. He was the first to give me a diagnosis, at least. Many women with autoimmune diseases get the "depression" label. i found this female doctor on a fibromyalgia web page in my area. It took me a full year to ask her for any kind of pain meds because my husband couldn't leave my prior ones alone, loratabs, percocet. She started me slow but eventually, I was being doped up with 200 mgs of oxycontin a day, oxcycodone in between and xanax for good measure, which made me not care about taking my prozac. it took one time with a loser friend of his, to show him how to snort it, and he was hooked. I was screwed because I was already on SSD, had been since 27 and had two kids both with some real tough mental issues. My son had adhd, oppositional defiant disorder and my daugther started having servere obsesssive compulsive disorder symptoms in first grade. He was never around. i would give him two pills to maintain his job because we needed that insurance and at 27 on SSD, that meant I applied for it way earlier, got the standard two denials and then the hearing. I was a student/waitress, so my checks weren't something a mom and two kids could live on. We were living with my parents due to the loss of my income and my mother had MS as well, my husband couldn't handle just being maintened he wanted the high. I don't get high off my pain meds but people without pain do. His temper increased and it was a long, tough road. My mother passed away and a few years later my father met someone who he wanted to marry, she gave us $10,000 to get a house and it got to be so bad, I had to tell my father I can't live alone with him, He was just nuts, angry, crazy anger. Lie to your face. So, the kids and I went to a hotel and my dad told him to leave, I left him a letter begging him to get help, where to go, etc. etc. If I would have told hiim to leave, he would have either just laughed and walked over me, literally, or punch me. So, I did it the way I did for a reason. But I had to do a whole buying a house, moving in, closing on it, the whole thing myself. At that time i was calling them "flare ups", now I have to get used to the word "exacerbation". I just got diagnosed on the 19th of Feb.four days before I turned forty. As if forty doesn't suck enough, eh? Addiction runs rampant in his family, alcoholics, sexaholics, etc. etc. His brother drinks a case of beer a night. I begged anyone i could for help, his mom, his brother, his friends, got nowhere. He was stealing 100 pills out of my bottle at one time. I couldn't drive because of seizures, and they revoked my license, hence, my life. He didn't, wouldn't, couldn't understand that I did what I did to help him,, not hurt him. He detoxed at his mom's, stayed sober for six or so months, right until he filed for divorce. I didn't have enough time away, he didn't have enough time to get himself together, my son didn't have time to breathe and my daughter didn't have time to stop being scared. But, he was angry about giving so much of his check away to us. Ok, with my SSD, it would be living on $800 a month. No medicaid when you have a house, no social services. I had to choose to take him back so the kids wouldn't suffer in poverty. It was already such a transition in lifestyle, moving from where we lived with my mom and dad in suburban utopia and coming to a great house but a neighborhood that isn't so "pristine", it's lower middle class. to really lower class duplexes, rentals that surround the perimeter, that's where the junk goes down. Our insurance would have gotten cut off and that meant we would all sink, really, really low. He basically, was making us pay for his sin, his choice, because it is a choice. I went through withdrawal every damn month because he was too scared. Rationalizatons, reasonings, empty promises, I've heard them all. He came here and my son was pissed at me, as Shay, my son isn't my husband's bio-son. So, he would take a lot out on Shay. to this day when myhusband yells, I jump up ready to protect Shay. Yeah, I have PTSD. General Anxiety and Major depressive disorder. wonder why. So, he was good for a couple of months or so and got right back into my pills again. I said goodbye to them and didn't go to a doctor for three years, but I drank like a fish. Self medicated. Once i got the pain meds back, I could set the alcohol right down and not miss it all. I used it to trick my body into thinking it could move. So, since then, they thought I had RA and he got into those pills, even when my tooth got pulled, couldn't leave them alone. Don't think I don't hide them either. It just sucks for me because I walk into a room and forget why I am in there. So I always, always forget where I hid them and I have to be so damn creative. It's like he's got this dousing rod for narcotics. it'snot like I just hide them in my dresser, or under the mattress. Ok, now the good news. My daughter had herself a suicidal gesture in early December. No, that isn't the good news, yet strangely, it has benefited her and our family ten fold then he just seeing her behavior modification therapist and psychiatrist. She gets six social worker visits a month, some are just for her but most are for my husband and me and how to deal with it all. I picked also a pain management doc who tests regularly and will know if there is too much or too little. During my second spinal tap with the ct scan, as the first one failed, he said my frame was "too small and my back too twiststed", how nicely put. Second one I told him about my husband's addiction. I live by the philosophy of truth and transparency, this way, no guilt, no shame can be bound to your back that you need to lug around with you. My husband was mad but understand my mystic chickness, I'm and ordained Essene, which is a Gnostic sect, reverend. He had been great, well, he was still smoking the ganga, mon, but to and Essene, it's a plant that is medicinal, but anything good becomes bad when used in excess, like my hubby do. I had a friend who lives down the street I introduced my husband too, my friend is a homosexual guy who lost his partner, hmmm, it'll be two years this july. this guy gets any kinda drug you can imagine. to my husband, it was willie wonka wonderland. i begged my friend not to give him any, sell him any, under no circumstance!!!!!!!!!!! If he says they are for me, don't believe it, call me first and I'll tell you he's lying. well, like so many other people in my life, my "friend" totally let me down and literally did the opposite of what i aksed him not to. This was shortly after my daughter's tylenol od and he feel right off the wagon. So, the pain doc who is also now my new nerurologist, punished me by droppping my dose down from 15mg to 10. he was going for five but a nurse talked him out of it. I also told him that my daughter's social worker knew he was high. the guy is 42, wanted to be cool so he started hanging out with the stoners at age 16. He lost a couple decades there. Now, he is in Narcotics Anonymous, goes to meeting every night except the thee days he works. Now, don't be jealous. He's there between 7:30am and gets home about 10:00 pm. He's going on thirty days sober and it is so nice not to talk to a pet rock but to actually
have a discourse with him. He was told by NA that he can't get pain meds even if he breaks a bone, or he'll be right back at the bottom of the whole. I would hate to see him suffer but i've been an enabler myself to him. He has to be careful of anything that can trigger him, going past that "friend's" house I spoke of prior. He had to call the pain doc for me the other day because when I get pms, well tthe ob, calls it something diffferent, I go total whacko, and sound hysterical.. I'm on a ton of prednisone, so I babble and as you can see, I become hyper typer.. I don't know if something like a car accident happened to him, if a medically induced coma would be an option. He just simply can't t take another narcotic, ever, never again. He mourned but he's picking up his instruments againl That's a huge deal for him right there, he feels a lot of guilt but any normal breathing person would, if he didn't, I'd worry. by the way, what is suboxone? I'm a newb to all of this, not addiction and not ms but having it myself. I buried my mom and by the time they had treatments, it was too late. Back then, they didn't have a test for MS, they used the hot water bath. I just really never wanted toknow, i wold have tests done but never did I find out the results.

He can be sober for years but he's stil an alcoholic, I'm sorry but it's true. My husband is in meetings with people who have been going for twenty plus years. Lots of them nurses, people in that caretaking field. My friend's dad was an alcoholic and what was described in either your comment of another, he threw up his bowels, had to get a lot of surgeries and she wasjust a mere child witnessing her daddy going through this.

May the Heavenly Father and Earthly Mother guide you to the road you need to be on, to receive advice from one who can steer you clearly and most of all, may you find peace and don't ever think you are or have ever been a bad mother. We women always bring it back to ourselves. To become and addict is a choice, God gave us the heavy "free will" and it is a bitch. Most always, people choose on the side of temptation. Don't let the hospital give him pain medicine, tell them the truth of his addiction. Hospitals deal with this type of thing more than they should have to. It will bring back his craving and he'll come out worse for the wear.

I just lit a candle for your family and will say prayers over it tonight.
You keep your own self well, my dear, or you'll be of no help to anyone,

Blessed be,
Kelley
(kelleybme)

hello,

I hope you got some help from the wisdom of the replies from the people who have been through it somehow or lived with someone with it in some way. I am Kelley and I am the one who wrote the longest, most detailed reply to you. Can't miss it for it's length alone, as it is approaching a short novel. anyways, i'm pretty new around here and I just looked it up and it appears like I'm under the username saxman. Which I'm not. I'm Kelleybme. And if you ever want to talk to me, i'm there for you. I understand way too much of what you are dealing with, wish I didn't. But, 30 days sober, my husband has been, and now he can tell all the NA folks about how well he's doing and get applause. For some reason, I'm getting angry. Don't get me wrong, I want him to go there, had the number sitting on his dresser for months, but my deal is what about all the people behind each of those people at the meetings? How many people did each of those people lie to, steal from, abuse emotionally and/or physically? My spelling might be way off, the optic neuritis is really messing with my left eye. My family alone there are three of us, and then include his parents who are devastated, so, five. That could be a good average number of people each one of the NA members have on average five people who they have totally devastated in a million different ways, and hey, where is our applause? Where is our tags? Our hugs? I know I have this conflict I need to resolve in my mind. I don't know if he is just going to the meetings to stay sober, yes, he has stayed sober, but he goes for other reasons like the rush of the attention when he gets to speak (he used to be in a rock band), the rush of feeling like the wizard(of oz) with newbies, the rush of being in that group, like a gospel church.
The other night, I had my first copaxone injection and had my wicked pms, which my ob calls something other, oh, what is the name, brain fog, pmdd, nothing she can give me as i'm too old and i smoke, yeah, bad girl, Anyways, i thought the copaxone would help some symtoms but alas, does not, just keeps me as is. As is for me is not how i want to keep existing. i have more than MS going on. Have this inflammatory bowel that the docs didn't think was a big deal for over a decade, I thought it was, as my stomach would get uber distentended during flare ups, then, just stayed that way. some people call it leaky gut. I thought it was irritable bowel but never had the constipation, wish I did. So, it took a rheumatologist last year to diagnose me with it. Gave me sulfalazine, a disease modification drug, which took my stomach way down in a couple months and also too these God awful mouth ulcers I woud get monthly. Not canker sores, figured that out pretty quickly as soon as the dentist gave me that "no sting" canker sore suff and I did the pain dance (instead of screaming). My next primary doc who played specialist, put me on daily valtrex, thinking the sores were herpetic, did nothing but at least she gave me samples. the rheumy couldn't figure out why the medicine took my mouth ulcers away but a quick search on webmd, one can see that the mouth is the beginning of the digestive system. He never had me scoped, yeah, the dreaded colonoscopy and put me through 3 doses of remicade even with my radiology reports stating the lesions in my brain. He said it was garbage, crumpled it up and threw it at me. So, the remicade made me lose my last summer being in my 30's. Gave me a persistent 104 degree fever, as it would come back as soon as the tylenol wore off. Yeah, just filed a grievence cause I want my $2,000 back we payed this old man (78) who is so darn pompous, he thinks he knows it all. How simple it would have been for him to order an MrI before starting the remicade. Or follow the instructions and not give the 2nd dose. I was supposed to be in the hospital after the reaction to the 1st but couldn't because had tosee my son, Shay graduate. He was a special needs kid and I had to fight like hell for him until he got into a school where the teachers understood how to teach him, thank God. It was a little too late but still he made it with a regents diploma and there I am with my high grade fever and hundreds of bruises covering my entire body. I totally got off subject. Blame it on my on my husband being an angry jerk today and the high dose of predisone i have to take. I would skip it but can't this time because my eye willl remain blind and my head will stay throbbing. forgive my babbling. I guess this is therapy for me too and I'm sorry I've been selfiish. Just remember, I'm not saxman, I'm kelleybme . Prednisone queen, Hyper typer. You can get through this, i know you don't want to but you have to. My therapist said that to me once,, so I'm using his words. He sucked as a therapist but that quote tends to stick in my head.

Blessed Be,
Kelley
kelleybme

Kelley, I was just reading your replies, and when you stated that your hubby likes the attention from the meetings ect. and where was our attention for putting up with their BS. I understand that more than you will ever know. I loved my brother more than anyone could ever know, but the years before he died it was mind blowing to me to see how my family would praise him for working 3 months in a role, while I had been working 6 yrs at the same dead end job, but that was never mentioned. As he and I both grew older, I began to realize that all the lying, and stealing, and untruthfulness was due to THIS ADDICTION. Yes, we could all use something like this as an excuse, and believe me I was the 1st to let my brother have it when he was not doing what he should be. However, this addiction had such a hold on him IT TOOK HIS LIFE!! I know my brother did not want to die, he loved people, and no matter how broken apart he was on the inside, on the outside he was always a people person, that helped him cope, and he loved to get the attention of others. I guess what I am trying to say is yes, we all pay a price to stay with, or support family that put any kind of substance infront of their family. I love my brother, always will, he was the only true sibling I have, and now he is gone. I guess what I am trying to say is if getting some extra attention will turn their life around 100 percent, I would let em have the spot light. Yes, there is no gaurantee that this will make them turn around, but your still with this man, and by now you are probably not planning on leaving, be it financial reasons or other reasons, you in it for the 'long haul' The past is the past, so let it go the mean and horrible things he doen to you, you will never forget, but don't let those things eat you up inside, that will only hurt YOU. I know I am speaking of my brother, and you are speaking of your partner, and circumstances are different, but I would give ANYTHING for my brother to have one more chance on this earth, that is not possible I know, but looking back some of the things that just floored me before, seem only minor now. BEST OF LUCK, AND ALL MY PRAYERS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. Leah