I'm now 8 months sober from percocets and amphetamines. I struggled a lot at first with severe withdrawal symptoms and it felt like I was going to die. My biggest regret is that back in October, when I was a little over 2 months sober, I was still having some cravings. I got very drunk and went to sleep over my best friends house after hitting the bars downtown.

I didn't go there thinking of pills, but when I got back to his house, I went into his room to change and he had just had surgery for his hernia....and he had an almost ful bottle of amphetamines on his desk. Drunk me didn't think "take a few and take them now". My anxious brain thought "you feel fine now...but what about the next time you get anxious??" So i took 4 out of the bottle and put them in my pocket. I didn't realize that my best friends girlfriend saw me and caught me. I tried to convince her I didn't take any, but my best friend knew me better and checked all of my pockets and in my mouth and found the 4 pills in my back pocket. I knew instantly what a huge mistake I had made but I figured after a few days he would have forgiven me.

It's now 6 months later from this incident and I've spoken to him twice and only very briefly. He said that until I make it a year sober, he can't be a part of my life for his own mental health. He's always been super supportive for me and this was a last straw for him.

I miss him so so much. He was like my brother. I can't wait until that year is up so hopefully I'll get the chance to see him face to face. Tonight was a bad night. St. Patricks Day. All my friends went out...except me. I always feel so awkward being around any of our mutual friends. I don't want them to have to pick sides. 

I'm very lonely and sad :( I feel like I don't have my second half anymore but I understand why he did what he did. It was time for me to grow up and make better choices.