Today was the day i would find out whats going on. I stepped out of the porche and made my way to the reception desk. I told the receptionist that i was here for my ultra sound. She asked me if i was going to been needing a picture of my baby. I paused for a second and said I am here to see if my baby is still alive. She gave me directions to the ward i was serposed to be on. What a surprize, it was the same ward as Monday. I got told to sit in the TV room again. I walked in and sat on the squeaky old chair, the same chair that i had sat on Monday . There was a woman in the room who looked pregnant crying he heart out. I wondered if this was the ward they send all the women who are having problems with there pregnancys. Silvia called me to her room i went in and lied down on the bed she put the jelly on my tummy and began her search. She looked at me and said that i have not got enough fluid in my bladder. I got taken back to the Tv room and got instructed to drink a jug of water. I already needed a wee but i gritted my teeth and just drank it. I never knew i could feel so sick from drinking water! After i had finished it all i was waiting, my bladder was killing, i was bursting for a wee. I started to pace the room just as i did i could feel more blood begining to start seeping into my knikers. I started to look down the corridores for a nurse or someone who could tell me where the toilets where before i bled throw my trousers. A old nurse stepped out of her room and said can i help you. I said YES! i really need to go to the toilet. She said are you a patient here. Yes i am. Who are you here to see? i said silvia. What are you going to have done? I said i am going for a ultra sound. The lady looked at me and said you cant go to the toilet if you are going to have a ultra sound. I said I AM COMING ON MY PERIOD I JUST NEED TO SORT MY SELF OUT! She started to give me directions to the end of the corridor and i just walked off really quick to find the toilet my self. I looked into the toilet and there was loads of blood more than ever before just like a period. I cleaned my self up and walked back to the TV room my belly was killing Silvia called me back to her room after a while and i went in for the scan . She ran the plastic tool across my belly and just as i had feared she could see nothing. She said that she could not detect a pregnancy and that she needed me to take a blood test to cheak my hormone levels. She gave me 2 slips entitled COMPLETE MISCARRAGE and i was directed to the phlebotomist. Once there i sat down for about 10mins looking at the writing "COMPLETE MISCARRAGE" and thought why me? What have i done wrong? I want my baby back! I sat on a old leather chair and rolled up my sleave. I normally hate blood tests but i did not feel anything no fear and no sign of the needle going into my arm just numbness. Simon and i walked back to the car and drove home. As soon as i got to the house i went to bed. when i woke up i had a really bad belly ache I went for a wee and had a sharp pain in my belly while going. I feel numb inside and i dont feel like doing anything. I just want to be on my own in a room of silence!
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