Pregnancy Support Group
Welcome to the waiting room for anticipating moms and dads. Whether you're expecting your first or a new little brother or sister, meet other parents in this community who are also looking forward to a new addition to the family.
I am two months pregnant with my first child and feeling like I am going through it alone. To my surprise my husband has been unhelpful, disconnected and seems overall uninterested with the pregnancy. His support is pretty basic- went to my first doctor's appointment with me.
Since I don't know what to expect from my first pregnancy and labor, I am afraid but I am reading pregnancy books and I want to sign up for classes. My husband doesn't think we need to go to any classes and he told me that I can go alone. I just feel like crap because he doesn't care at all that I want to attend classes.
I feel as though I am going to have to go through my pregnancy without a husband. It's as if all he expects to do through this whole experience is show up at the hospital and hold my hand.
I really don't know what to do and I feel like I am going to have to seek counseling soon because I am really depressed about this situation.
I'd appreciate any advice and hope that I can somehow find a way to work it out.
Since I don't know what to expect from my first pregnancy and labor, I am afraid but I am reading pregnancy books and I want to sign up for classes. My husband doesn't think we need to go to any classes and he told me that I can go alone. I just feel like crap because he doesn't care at all that I want to attend classes.
I feel as though I am going to have to go through my pregnancy without a husband. It's as if all he expects to do through this whole experience is show up at the hospital and hold my hand.
I really don't know what to do and I feel like I am going to have to seek counseling soon because I am really depressed about this situation.
I'd appreciate any advice and hope that I can somehow find a way to work it out.
Please know that the ladies on this board are here to support you in any way that you need. I sure hope things improve for you.
I am so sorry your hubby isn't supportive. Mine is not either. I'm also two months along, due in September. Do you happen to be in CT? I am in the same boat as you, except this is my 3rd, 1st with this husband, and my youngest is 8, so it's been a really long time. I too am feeling all alone and unsupported. I am more than willing to be your support :) I know how badly we need it during this time.
Has he heard the heartbeat yet? I keep being told that he will change when he hears the heartbeat or sees the baby via ultrasound. I'm hoping so.
I'm here if you need to talk. :)
Are you serious?! Other women? Bless you, I'm definitely not strong enough to handle that. My first husband began cheating on me when I was pregnant with my son. It didn't end well.
I am finding so much support in reading these posts from all of you. I am so thankful for each of you, because now I know I am not alone in this battle.
I don't know why men are this way, they should be involved, they should want to be. I am so dumbfounded at why they behave this way.
This is my husband's first baby. I guess I reverted to not knowing better, in hopes this would be exciting, supporting and loving. I thought things would be different. When they weren't, I panicked and here I am, all alone once again.
Thank God I have all of you.
I hear ya gal. I also don't understand why some men are like that. we're married for 7 yrs, and we;re both in our 30s. so its not like we're teenagers or unmarried. but my husband still seems very uninterested in having a baby. he some times says things like, it'll be kool to have someone energetic to play with coz he says i'm so low energy & boring now. but thats about it, he seems least bothered most of the times. i don't feel like he has any feelings for the baby. he's only made this pregnancy difficult for me so far. its my 1st.
congrats on your pregnancy and i hope that you;re taking good care of your health as that would impact the baby. these men have no idea what they're doing. i can't understand why so many end up going to courts trying to get custody of kids once the kids are born and if a divorce happens. they sure don't seem to have any feelings about the babies during pregnancy. maybe because they cannot feel the baby like moms do. maybe they only develop feelings after child birth. maybe. i hope thats the case. anyway yea you're right that this forum is a blessing. specially for women like me, i can at least discuss all my concerns here. and thanks to you and all the other great girls here who always listen and try to help. wish you a very healthy and happy pregnancy :)
as for the 'other women'. my husband has always had lots of other women friends. after we got married, i found out that he was talking to some ex-galfriend for hours (on the night of our first anniversary)... then i found out they had been talking on the phone regularly during our engagement and after our marriage too.. ever since that day, i've found him talking regularly to many ex gfs and new friends as well. whenever he works in an office, he becomes friends with lots of women. he's a very charming guy and females love talking to him. i haven't found him physically cheating on me yet, i've never tried to find out either. but he had a few emotional affairs (told the gal he loves her and will marry her) i don't know what to do any more. i've given up trying to change him. i spent yrs trying to change him. he still keeps making new female friends where ever he goes.
My husband has been wonderful but it really didn't "sink in" until I started to get a belly. Even though he had seen the ultrasounds.
Maybe he will come around and get on board! Fingers crossed for you, I really can't even begin to understand or comprehend how you feel.
As soon as the baby was born, things got worse. Our son was demanding and a horrible sleeper. He was almost 6 months old before he slept more than 2 hours at a time. We fought constantly and were exhausted, depressed, and lonely. Nobody tells you that the birth of a newborn is one of the most stressful times in your life. We thought that we would be excited, feel like a family, and that once the discomforts of pregnancy were over we could have fun bonding with our new baby. We knew nothing about sleep deprivation, depression, and anxiety that comes with having an infant. (Or can come, I should say.)
But then, things got better. We communicated better and he is a great father now. We've been married 5 years.
The second pregnancy was horrible. I had hyperemesis and was completely shut off and isolated from my friends. I spent 9 months holed up in the house, only getting out to go to the doctor. My husband worked 2 jobs and when he was home took care of our son. he would literally being me up plates of food and something to drink and then run downstairs again to be with him. My physical needs were being met, but it was a very lonely pregnancy because I had no emotional support. We later read that a woman becomes a mother as soon as she finds out that she is pregnant but that a man doesn't become a father until he holds his child. I believe that with my husband.
Our second child was a dream. He slept well, never cried, and because we knew more of what to expect we had none of that anxiety or depression that we had with our first. Unfortunately, he passed away 6 weeks later from SIDS.
Now, we are pregnant again. This time, I have hyperemesis again but I am being more demanding about having my emotional needs met. I communicate with my husband every day and I just flat out tell him what I need (a shoulder to cry, on a hug, a cuddle, conversation, etc.). We are both terrified over this baby being born because of what happened the last time so I understand that sometimes his lack of support might come from his own fear. Sometimes, even I wish that I wasn't pregnant and that we weren't having another one because I am so afraid.
Anyway, I agree with the others that unless he is just a jerk this might be coming from someplace else. Perhaps he is afraid of shortcomings, his life changing, or just not knowing what to do. It's important, though, not to suffer in silence. Complaining to your friends and family might make you feel better for awhile (it did me!) but talking with your husband and letting him know what you need will be more helpful in the end. I wish I had done that more the first time.