Pregnancy Support Group

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hard times

callie929
callie929
I am 22 wks and just feeling alone. My mother passed Dec 2009, my dad moved with my son a 1hr 1/2 drive away. I have a 7 yr old. I am married for7 yrs now. Still have our problems, now seem worse. I just seem so alone at this time. It seems like its always me and my daughter. Not to complain, but hubby acts like if me and her are together then its a way for him to do something. Never seems "family" anymore. My hubby enjoys drinking and staying out late at least 1-2 times/week. I have no time alone or without my daughter. Just thought my life would be different. This is his hometown, not mine, so don't have any close friends here. Am I over reacting feeling so Alone and getting angry when hubby away? I understand he wants his guy time, but I want to look forward to a family weekend too, not centered around his drinking. Everything he looks forward to revolves around him, then I'm at home crying and he comes in at 3-4 am
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm sorry you are going through this. Have you tried talking to him about it? Relationships are hard, but they are doomed when a couple can't communicate. My other half and I go through periods of difficulty too, but it usually improves once we open up to each other about how we are feeling. I find it helps to do this in a non-accusatory way where you are focusing on how you feel about the situation rather than focusing on what 'he' is doing wrong. I hope things get better for you, it's a special time and I'm sure you don't want to go it alone after the baby is born either...best of luck.
callie929
callie929
Yes, I do tell him. He just acts as if there is no problem or he is doing nothing wrong. That he is a good dad and I'm in the wrong for being upset. He never really seems to care or give much thought into whats going on or what I'm feeling. I'm trying to understand his feelings to give him space and time to hang out, but I still can't help but be jealous when he's always out at bars and I'm home with child. If he never brings me around how can I trust that he's completely faithful to me???? Trust is just a major issue too. I do explain to him. He acts as if I'm crazy. It's a never ending cycle and I'm the one who's feeling hurt :(
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sorry to hear that. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to add me :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
i am so sorry you are going through this.
My opinion: drinking 1-2 times a week is basically an alcoholic. Besides that fact, if my husband left 2-3 times a week to drink I would tell him to pack his bags and get out. Guys need 'guy time', but more like 1-2 times a MONTH. Unless you get the same amount of time.

Sounds like you need to talk to him about his responsibilities and your relationship.
callie929
callie929
Thanks......I do believe he has problems with alcohol that has gotten worse. He said that he's got to party now cause he knows were going to have a baby. Ok, well his daughter is 7 and its never stopped him. So, I'm thinking its just excuses. I'm doing my best to be understanding so I don't seem to be the pregnant wife, but its hard. Just seems my happiness is overlooked. I work full time the same as he. I enjoy being with my daughter, but would like to be with my whole family. It's really all I've got left and it hurts when he's never here with us. He just flat out does not care!