Hi sweetheart. Congrats!!

Having a baby can be really scary and daunting. And it's tough!! But it is the most rewarding thing in the world and you will love every minute of it!!! :)

It can be hard for parents to accept the news of their children having a child... Not that it makes it right, but there are many reasons. They could feel you are not ready, or perhaps they are not!! They may be feeling older and thinking of how long ago they had children... Maybe they just didn't expect the news and it is taking time to sink in.

The most important thing here is that you and your husband are excited!!!!!! That is all that matters to this baby, that it is loved and wanted. Grandparents often come around in their own time. I am sorry they are not sharing the good news with you both. The anxiety this is bringing is definately not needed right now...

I will tell you something about my first pregnancy with the hope it is a little comforting and you can see your baby will be just fine! :) I need to have progesterone injections the whole pregnancy or I miscarry. The problem is, I am one of very, very few women with a progesterone sensitivity. So - I don't take well to it at all! With this pregnancy, now that we are aware of my problems, I take enough to keep the baby safe and no more (we don't try and get my levels as high as 'normal' anymore). When I was pregnant with our daughter, I had severe antenatal depression as a direct result of the shots. It didn't get picked up until the month before I birthed her!! I was a complete nightmare.... I would cry hours on end every day, scream at my husband, run out of the house at all hours, you name it I did it! Totally different woman to how I normally am. It was terrifying and depressing.

I look at my girl now, she is nearly 9 months old and the happiest little baby I have ever seen!! She is so far advanced with her crawling and speaking (yes, she says quite a few words already!!) and her comprehension of things are more like a 12 month old. So she hasn't suffered one little bit from the difficult pregnancy!!

The antenatal depression was very embarressing for me to tell anyone, in fact unless they read any of these posts most people I know haven't got a clue!! But it was the way I was with the pregnancy... And the pain, oh I used to get killer cramps! Usually when I was a sobbing mess crying so hard it would bring on contractions. Not nice at all.... but actually quite harmless, it just didn't feel too good for me! Our girl was fine, and she is just perfect :) Hope this helps a little. Feel free to talk to me anytime if you want to!! xx

One thing is that we aren't married ... yet. My mom is pushing it on us, and his mom said if we get married that she is going to disown him and cut him out of the will. I know that kind of stress isn't good for anyone but she doesn't care who she upsets. My mom is just ashamed of it cause she doesn't want me to tell anyone about it. I am hoping that my depression is just a bipolar relaps (since I can't take my meds since I am pregnant) but who knows. Anyway thanks for your help and I hope to talk to you soon.

Hi sweetie. Well, my husband and I married a month before she was born.... we were together 3 months when I fell pregnant... then had to go tell my Christian parents!!!! That stress alone was awful, I couldn't imagine being in your shoes. Your mum will get over it, eventually. It may take a while... but really, you are already pregnant! Getting married now won't make the baby come any later, it will still be obvious that you conceived out of marriage. And the thing is, God gave you both this baby!! I'm not saying it is right, but we conceived our daughter out of marriage and a new life is a beautiful thing regardless of how it got here! I guess our parents had more social pressure - you know, there were no single mums and people were married if they found out they were having a child. It can be hard for them to understand that society no longer has a stigma associated with birthing a baby out of marriage. Has his mother always had a problem with the relationship or is this a result of the pregnancy?? Either way it is his choice and she should be supporting him, particularly when he has made a family with you!!!! But some mothers have trouble letting go of their kids, or sharing them with anyone else... Have you spoken to your midwife or doctor at all about having come off your bi-polar meds? I wish I could give you support about this but I have never been in that situation. Have you got any plans in place for managing it during the pregnancy? Any support groups or appointments? xx

Hi Charity. First of all, your fiance needs to tell his mother to knock it off. He shouldn't care what he is going to inherit from her some day. He wants to be with you and make a family - that is more important than some future gain. He may find that taking that power away from her makes her stop holding it over his head. Now is the time to nip mother in law issues in the bud - and it's HIS job to do that, not yours. If she's a bully then his standing up to her might make her back off. If she's just a toxic person, then neither of you needs her in your life. Some parents don't know when to let go, others are just jerks. It will be her loss if she disinherits him and never gets to know her lovely grandchild.

My parents weren't excited either (and I'm 42!) but that was more because they were worried for my health, and because I had miscarried twice in 1.5 years. Now that things are going well, they are being very supportive.

As for your mom, she is probably judging this by the standards of her generation - standards that don't really apply in today's society. Don't let her make you feel ashamed - you and your DF are bringing a new life into this world, and that is always a blessing. As a Christian, I will also give you some advice that you may find surprising. Don't rush into marriage just because you are pregnant. You want your marriage to be strong and last forever - because that's what God wants, too. Make sure you are ready before you take that step. This may not be the way your families wanted things to happen - but this is the way things are, and you can only move forward from here. Heaven rejoices whenever a new life comes into being. God doesn't bestow it lightly.

Good luck, and I'll be praying for you and your fiance.

Hey there...i too have been battling depression and anxiety thru my PG since i cannot take my meds and i will tell you it is terrible. I am not myself and it is very hard for even my husband to be aroung me. I cry all the time. due to other streese in our lives right now. but i try as hard as possible to focus of the good things(sometimes it works)//best of luck..i think we are prob due around the same time so if you want to friend me you would have someone to go thru things with. i am due 5/31/10 with my 4th pregnancy, 5th child.

congrats.

I am bipolar as well and i have been off pharmaceuticals for a year before getting pregnant. getting off meds with or without the extra stress youre haveing can cause the symptoms you're feeling. the stress just makes it worse.

I take natural supplements tailored to mood disorders. plus a few others that have shown beneficial to mood support. this pregnancy is so different from the last one.

the best thing you can do is do whats right for you. and try to do your best not to let other peoples thoughts and feelings influence your own too much.

congrats and welcome. Sorry to hear about your situation, I hope all works out for you.

Thank you to everyone I really appreciate the support. Don't get me wrong he is supporting me in ways I could never imagin, but he isn't going through the emotional stuff I am.

My due date is 6/26/10 (the day after my birthday) so I still have a long way to go. We have talked about getting married sometime in September that way we have a little bit of time to get everything in order.

Thanks again everyone and I hope yall are having a great day.

Congratulations! It's good to hear that you are both excited--that's all that matters. As for what anyone else thinks--they will get over it once they see their sweet grandchild :) You will find plenty of support here from other pregnant women from all different situations!
As far as marriage, we're kinda in the same boat as you. We have been together a little over 10 years now and this is our first baby. Although we aren't in any kind of rush to get married, just because we are expecting, we will by the time she gets here. Obviously, it's super important to his parents. I guess we just see it as we know we love each other and will always be together--what's marriage gonna change? I guess it ill make it easier for all 3 of us to have the same last name.
Well, nice to meet you and best wishes :)