Pregnancy after Stillbirth Community Group

Coping with pregnancy after stillbirth

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stellasms 11/01/2010

I lost my little Timothy 1/17/10 and concived my rainbow 2 1/2 months later. at that time I felt that this woudl make things better but as my rainbows birth gets closer I find myself constanlly grieving my Timothy. Halloween all I thought of was how my Timothy woudl be 4 months old and it woudl have been so fun to take him out with the family insted I am still pregnat 33 weeks along. I have a fear that something will happen, something will go wrong. I have a baby shower next week and im excited yet want to cry. does anyone else feel this way. I feel that I should be happy that my rainbow came so quick as I know so many are having a hard time getting pregnat so I shouldnt have these feelings. Dont get me wrong I Love my rainbow and know he will be here soon yet having him in my arms will not take away the grief

deleted_user 11/01/2010

I am new to this group. I only recently found out I was pregnant and am 5 weeks along now. For me, I know that this baby will not replace the baby that I lost. Gabriel was my son,and just like if I lost one of my other children ,the grief would not be any less because I have others. Each child is unique and special in my heart. I will continue to love and grieve for my baby that it is not with me and love and wait hopefully for the one that I am carrying now. Be easy on yourself. This will take a long time. Wishing you peace and a safe and happy delivery with your new little one.

deleted_user 11/01/2010

I wish I could tell you it does because I am not sure myself. I am almost 32 weeks and struggle each and everyday. I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone!

deleted_user 11/02/2010

All I can say is I feel the exact same way and I'm not sure that the days get any better. I lost my daughter Jan 29th and am currently 29 weeks pregnant with her sister. I am happy and love her sister with all my heart, but I grieve the loss of my daughter and sometimes being pregnant or thinking about when her sister arrives home brings back my feelings of losing her. It is a delicate balance between happiness and grief.

deleted_user 11/02/2010

I know how you feel. A rainbow baby doesn't take away the pain of losing a child, for sure. I saw somewhere that the rainbow doesn't do away with the destruction in the aftermath of the storm, but it gives you something beautiful to look at besides that destruction. I am now 5 weeks pregnant, and while I am very excited to be pregnant with my rainbow, I am still grieving the loss of my daughter just as I was before I got pregnant. I think it is a good thing that the rainbows don't take away the grief, because we need to heal without trying to patch up our wounds with other things. You know? I hope this journey gets easier for you and for the rest of us!

deleted_user 11/02/2010

I am currently 20 weeks pregant. We lost Marissa in January. I have just been so nervous throughout this pregnancy, and I will remain that way until our baby boy is home. I am thankful that this is a boy because I don't feel like I'm trying to replace my princess. I do think about what she would be doing now that she would be almost 10 months old. But, being pregnant has helped my whole family with the grief.

deleted_user 11/03/2010

I think the rainbow babies give us joy in the midst of grief, but I think it would be wrong to think it takes away grief or sadness. You just have both. I gave birth 2 weeks ago, and the whole time in the hospital was so joyful, until it came time to leave. My husband and I were both hit with a huge wave of grief and sorrow over our missing 2 year old. We just sobbed. But it felt good to be in touch with those emotions too- it's my only connection to my stillborn son.

deleted_user 11/05/2010

My rainbow baby just turned 2 months and I can say the pain of losing your other child never goes away. Yet I have found such comfort when I look at my rainbow (daughter) and see her brother's face and I can't wait to tell her that she has a brother that is the strongest angel for making sure she made it into my arms. When you have a rainbow baby its the closest thing to having your lost child they are truly in their soul. Its a bittersweet feeling.
I wish you the best as you continue on your journey.
Hugs,
Crystal

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