post traumatic stress Community Group
for people who have been diagonose with ptsd
I have been trying to get Disability Retirement from Cal Strs (California State Teachers Retirement System for 11 months. I was rejected on my first submission and am now nearing the end of my 2nd round (executive review) My case seems to have had unique twist that has my analyst out of sorts. My application went to management and I think they rejected it again but instead of ending it there they sent it back down to the analyst and told them to send my Psychiatrist. a letter asking (from what I gather) how long have I been seen –or how many times I’ve been seen (not sure which) My diagnoses, my plan of treatment, how long treatment may last and (I think they may have asked not sure) Who will monitor my progress.
On 2-18-2012 I received a copy of the letter my doctor has sent Cal STRS. I wish He they would not have sent it to me. It said, I have been seeing him for 2 years and that “I carry the diagnoses Major Depressive Disorder and PTSD which are disabling. He also has a history of cannabis and ethanol abuse. He could benefit from cognitive behavior therapy or EMDR weekly sessions for a period of one year.”
I hope this is what the management and executives need and want in order to grant me my Disability Retirement. I have been out of work for a year (was a teacher for 15 years asked to leave because of my lack of emotional control-behavior Feb.3 2011. My family of three kids two girls 14 and 12 ½ son 8 and wife who is sick of all of this and my behavior for the last 8 or so years. We have been living on food stamps and cash aid since August and my mom’s help before that. We have lots of stress and tension in our marriage. Just starting a part time job teaching at Sylvan Learning center small group instruction should not cause emotional flashbacks (very well organized program). We missed first mortgage payment this month on newly modified loan.
All this to say how getting a letter that I have been waiting to be sent to Cal STRS for three weeks, has sent me into a full blown DEPRESION with PANIC and MUCH ANXIETY. Why? Because I don’t like it or what it says, how it is said, how much or little that is said, if what is needed to be said is being said, the misspelling of my analyst name, (I believe it is Potten they wrote Totten) did he answer all the questions Cal STRS asked in four sentences…
What is next Highly sensitive ME waiting to be criticized, belittled, emasculated, compared …
So I can go into a RAGE or feel sorry for myself so I can try and comfort myself but fail like everything so attack the one who I think is my advisory.
The scary thing is that rage is there just waiting to attack always diligent and ready. Ready for what? Rages’ friend no Rages’ LOVE! ADRENALINE!
Question: Is this a reaction; type-phase-cycle-experience-F-uped reality… Anyone experience these behavior when someone and or something lets you down or can’t meet your expectations?
On 2-18-2012 I received a copy of the letter my doctor has sent Cal STRS. I wish He they would not have sent it to me. It said, I have been seeing him for 2 years and that “I carry the diagnoses Major Depressive Disorder and PTSD which are disabling. He also has a history of cannabis and ethanol abuse. He could benefit from cognitive behavior therapy or EMDR weekly sessions for a period of one year.”
I hope this is what the management and executives need and want in order to grant me my Disability Retirement. I have been out of work for a year (was a teacher for 15 years asked to leave because of my lack of emotional control-behavior Feb.3 2011. My family of three kids two girls 14 and 12 ½ son 8 and wife who is sick of all of this and my behavior for the last 8 or so years. We have been living on food stamps and cash aid since August and my mom’s help before that. We have lots of stress and tension in our marriage. Just starting a part time job teaching at Sylvan Learning center small group instruction should not cause emotional flashbacks (very well organized program). We missed first mortgage payment this month on newly modified loan.
All this to say how getting a letter that I have been waiting to be sent to Cal STRS for three weeks, has sent me into a full blown DEPRESION with PANIC and MUCH ANXIETY. Why? Because I don’t like it or what it says, how it is said, how much or little that is said, if what is needed to be said is being said, the misspelling of my analyst name, (I believe it is Potten they wrote Totten) did he answer all the questions Cal STRS asked in four sentences…
What is next Highly sensitive ME waiting to be criticized, belittled, emasculated, compared …
So I can go into a RAGE or feel sorry for myself so I can try and comfort myself but fail like everything so attack the one who I think is my advisory.
The scary thing is that rage is there just waiting to attack always diligent and ready. Ready for what? Rages’ friend no Rages’ LOVE! ADRENALINE!
Question: Is this a reaction; type-phase-cycle-experience-F-uped reality… Anyone experience these behavior when someone and or something lets you down or can’t meet your expectations?
I'm glad you got a job at Sylvan. I admire Sylvan.
I have that experience when I am betrayed. Betrayal is deep and sets me off.
Vent here, then figure out calmly what to do next. Do you have an attorney? Most places will do almost anything to not give their employees disability. And doctors don't want to be accountable or have to put anything in writing. I really like the bits about cannabis and alcohol. Part of the PTSD trying to cope methodology that we try. Hey, you're in California. Pot is legal and prescribed for stress disorders. What's the big deal from that nut that you do. Call legal aid. Get this taken care of. You deserve your disability. I'm sorry this is happening to you. We don't live in a kinder, gentler world anymore. I'm sending big, deep good thoughts that things go your way.