Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
I followed up on the support I got here at DS PTSD and rather than self sabotage I turned in my 5 year tenure report Monday--all 300 pages of it. So Tuesday I rewarded myself by going to a Bruce Springsteen concert. I was touched to tears when he sang the song "Independence Day" there, a good-bye song to his abusive father. It really spoke for me and why I'm here at DS PTSD. Especially the line "you can't touch me now."
"Well Papa go to bed now it's getting late
Nothing we can say is gonna change anything now
I'll be leaving in the morning from St. Mary's Gate
...But they can't touch me now
And YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME NOW
They ain't gonna do to me
What I watched them do to you
So say goodbye it's Independence Day"
I realized that I do I have daily flashbacks from him, I cope with dissociation from him, I have nightmares from his abuse, I have panic attacks recalling his abuse. But when this album came out in 1980 and I was 22 years old and just starting therapy for PTSD, I swore I wouldn't end up like him--abusing others like he abused me.
In my seat at that concert as I heard Springsteen sing that line, I realized in spite of all of my years with PTSD I have kept that promise.
Has anyone else had a moment like that when they realized that, as much as we suffer from our abuse, we have managed to stop the cycle and not just go on to be abusers ourselves?
"Well Papa go to bed now it's getting late
Nothing we can say is gonna change anything now
I'll be leaving in the morning from St. Mary's Gate
...But they can't touch me now
And YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME NOW
They ain't gonna do to me
What I watched them do to you
So say goodbye it's Independence Day"
I realized that I do I have daily flashbacks from him, I cope with dissociation from him, I have nightmares from his abuse, I have panic attacks recalling his abuse. But when this album came out in 1980 and I was 22 years old and just starting therapy for PTSD, I swore I wouldn't end up like him--abusing others like he abused me.
In my seat at that concert as I heard Springsteen sing that line, I realized in spite of all of my years with PTSD I have kept that promise.
Has anyone else had a moment like that when they realized that, as much as we suffer from our abuse, we have managed to stop the cycle and not just go on to be abusers ourselves?
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
...None of my abusers...wow, they sure tried to destroy my light. They failed. I'm far from perfect, but I'm a good person.
believing, but rarely seeing, that love conquers all, while living with what being a victim of traumas has dealt you, and still standing up and looking for and FINDING these singers and these lyrics and sharing them with us here...fills me with awe. I am so proud to know you, so grateful to call you friend.
high fives, Muji
I am so glad you went to the concert :O) go Muji!!
But I sure do have songs which sustained me in the journey. Nina Simone could be my own Bruce Springsteen. This song in particular:
"Some day, we will walk together in a beautiful sun
"Some day, we'll get it together and get it undone
"Some day, when the world is much brighter."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6odkM5o038A
Glad you gave yourself such a neat treat for a hurdle well-jumped.
It hasn't all been easy, but it also hasn't been nearly as hard as I'd been led to believe by people that already had kids. My parenting style was almost exactly opposite of how I'd been raised. My style can in one word be labeled....attachment.
That's a wonderful story about Springsteen's song. They can't touch you / us now:-)
I have small realizations I'm not like them, but am still working toward the knowledge in myself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxAf4lkkxGw
My greatest accomplishment is being a great Mom and I am close to both my adult children..I am so proud of them. I think what kept me going is when people would tell me your a great Mom, that was probably the only compliment I really heard. I worked very hard on this one and broke the family pattern