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I have a so called friend that I thought was a friend. We make plans at different times and bails on me. We had plans to do something christmas eve day and evening and also news years eve day and evening. Well, she never shows or calls to let me know what is up. This happens alot, she bails on me. She does not even calls to say hello. I do all the reaching out to her. Her home phone was diconnected cause of not paying her bill and her cell phone has lack of minutes.
So, I have realized that since she treats me like this that she is not a true friend like I thought. I have decided to move on. I plan to write her a letter to let her know how I am feeling and then move on.
I am very hurt that she treats me like this and also hurt that I was alone for the christmas eve and new years eve alone.
ladydi1961
So, I have realized that since she treats me like this that she is not a true friend like I thought. I have decided to move on. I plan to write her a letter to let her know how I am feeling and then move on.
I am very hurt that she treats me like this and also hurt that I was alone for the christmas eve and new years eve alone.
ladydi1961
My $0.02 ... for what it's worth.
At almost 50 years old, I've come to believe that moving on ... without a word, a letter, or a "conversation" ... is much better, safer, simpler, and less likely to cause problems.
I've learned this the hard way, unfortunately.
Happy New Year to you :-)
I agree w/ davidroc in terms of impact on your relationship. If you do send a letter be prepared for no response or apology from her, maybe even some stinkiness over it.
But it seems maybe you are wanting to write to give YOURSELF closure, and I think that can be a psychologically helpful.. I have found the best way to write a "closure" note is to keep it brief, and polite. Avoid being accusatory, the time for that has passed. Don't list her sins, just tell her you are not benefiting from the connection and that you are letting it go.
By recognizing the need to end this one sided friendship you are showing mature respect for yourself.
Hugs to you ladydi,
letitbe
We're just friends, no romantic entanglement, and there will be none.. That's one thing I like about her. I'm a guy and she's a lesbian. I've known her for 11 years. But this canceling major plans according to mood swings is problematic for me.
She emailed me yesterday about getting together Sunday and even asked me for a favor, without acknowledging canceling on Christmas. I think she's oblivious.
I enjoy her insights--like I said, she's a counselor. But not balanced in personal friendship. What should I do?
What about the possibility of explaining to her your disappointment about what occurred. Maybe also ask her for an explanation or apology. This way you will see more clearly what her underlying attitude is before you decided to either move on or forgive.
What is it about human nature that lets some people be knowingly inconsiderate to someone who they know really cares about the preservation of the relationship? Is it such a slippery slope from kindheartedly cutting someone some slack to being treated as their doormat? All I know is that I have slipped down that slope before.
Thanks for the advice. Most of all, it helps me clarify my own sense of the situation. It does matter to me how I'm treated.
As for your question about the human condition, ditto here.
Peace,
Muji