Sorry to hear you are going through this. Have you had health checks to exclude any other reasons that may be causing or worsening your symptoms eg I have fibromyalgia and now it seems I may have haemochromatosis which causes symptoms like that including anxiety. I spent many years being misdiagnosed and sometimes treated badly by the health system before it was discovered I had these. Prolonged stress will affect your health.
It sounds like you are doing a lot of helpful things already to help yourself but maybe you could try something like Bowen therapy which releases trauma from the body. Good luck

I have had panic attacks for 30 years due to childhood sexual abuse. The past 3 years I have remembered the abuse and have been healing from it. The panic has subsided substantially since I started my healing journey. It did increase for a while at first but then settled down and now it only remains for one reason - the fear that remains within me that the abuser would kill me. I am working through this now but can still happily say that the panic is nowhere near what it was even a year ago.

Keep working on your healing and the panic will subside when you have processed most of the fear. The panic is the fear bubbling up. Release the fear through your healing process and there is no longer a need for the panic.

I'm only a short way into my journey with PTSD---in retrospect it was knocking at th edoor all my life but busted out in 2013---and I am just hoping to come to a peaceful co-existence with it.

I think that you should hae a physical to see if there's any physical acuse for these sensations, to rule out non-PTSD causes, and maybe resume some therapy/counseling for new tools to use against the panic and so on? It sounds like your body is trying to relive a lot....

Gentle healing,
Leo

Thank you to each of you for the replies! I myself am a therapist (well, not currently practicing any longer). I receive Somatic Experiencing therapy which has really helped orient myself and learn the cycle of panic attack and to more efficiently identify triggers, even as they shift and change, and to feel my body and let it "un-freeze" from the trauma. I have had MRI's and x-rays and endoscopies and receive regular chiropractic and body work and to date - nothing brewing from the western medicine perspective, which is great news! I am considering having my neck looked at again, and just contacted a local massage therapist trained in Bowen technique. (I am also a certified massage practitioner myself!) :D Each one of your replies was encouraging and helpful, and I am so grateful! I do try to release the adrenaline but need to do that more consistently. My husband has held pillows for me to punch, and sometimes I scream into blankets or color aggressively with red and black crayons about how i am feeling inside and then as I start controlling my dress will color more gently and with different crayons. It is a long road, yes? Sending light to all of you!

TRIGGER WARNING

I started counseling and meds in 1986 for traumas that happened mostly 1966-76, sexual, domestic, and combat. Like you I've learned to use meditation and other resources so I could cope. I've managed to be functional enough, with hurdles and obstacles and occasional setbacks to sustain a career.

Nonetheless, recovery, like life itself I suppose, has not traveled in a straight line upward. There have been zigs and zags and ups and downs. Once a decade my recovery has needed a reset as I've developed new symptoms or had a symptom become dominant. For me those have been passing out from shortness of breath in panic attacks, flashbacks, and insomnia.

Each reset meant a four day or so stay in the hospital with a change in meds and talk therapy. The last time, 2010, the talk therapy was especially beneficial as it went to the combat trauma. Since it happened when I was a civilian and young, it had been left out of a lot of my talk therapy until then. It really helped when it got attention from a VA PTSD specialist.

You mentioned parts of your body that still feel the trauma you survived. That's true of me as to my throat. I prefer not to wear turtlenecks or anything that would constrict my throat. I also gag during panic attacks. All because of an attack involving strangling.

Anyway, all of that is for me to say panic attacks have not been constant, but have returned every decade or so, warranting a new approach. Then each time a new approach has been taken every 10 years or so, it has worked and the frequency diminished again. Support group work helped 1995-2000 and now here from 2011-present.

Hope that feedback helps.