You are not alone. I'd like to think I'm past the anger stage, I even told myself I forgave all 3 separate abusers (sexual abusers anyway), but it still hurts, still burns, I have scars. I'm stoked to hear you have a great support system: once I have the money to, I'm going back into therapy. As for the "why me", I try to not think about it, but of course, if I let myself that does come out and is quite normal to think such things as "what did I ever do to deserve this". And I still haven't found the answer to that question. I often wonder if I did something so horrible that maybe I did indeed deserve to be abused. Anyways, I'm rambling, sorry! Later on, I may share a video I hope is helpful to some!

Wow! Are you kidding? Somehow I thought you would have known the answers to your questions, but you are just like most of us. Until I got to this site, I felt so alone. I thought no one else could have so much trouble 'getting over' the abuses that happened to me. I thought I was the only one with such anger that I could not seem to control it. Why me? Million dollar question. Why you? Why any of us? Because we were there, and someone wanted to abuse us.
The trouble here is shame. For some reason, we often feel shame when our abusers don't even feel guilty or as if they did anything wrong. It should be the other way around. When we feel guilty, we believe we have made a mistake, but with most abuse victims, we feel shame which means we are the mistake.
Keep on this site and you will realize that you are so far from being alone.