it sucks sooooo much! i dont really have any amazing advice to give.would like to encourage you though! you are not alone. hang in there. remember what happens does not define who you are. keep on reminding yourself that you are safe now.and that you will be ok.

Oh yeah! Hate. In all caps, I H A T E him...I H A T E them!

PS, Have I mentioned how much I hate them?!

And by the way, I hate them. I really, really hate them.

And to make sure I am being very clear, have I mentioned how much I HATE them!

I hate them!

I hate them!

I hate them!

I hate them!

I hate them!

I hate them!

I hate them!

I hate, hate, hate them!

Oh God! How I H A T E them!

(Checking) It's evening time...

I STILL hate them!

A coupl'a minutes have passed since I last hated them. And I STILL hate them!

Phloxinsox

Phloxinsox HATES

Phloxinsox HATES them!!!

It's Sunday...

And I STILL hate them!

Tomorrow is Monday...the day after Sunday...

And I STILL hate them!

The sky is clear...

And I hate them!

Are frogs green? Yes!

Do I hate them STILL! You bet!

Do frogs jump?!

Uh yup!

Do I STILL HATE THEM?

Uhhh YEAH!

Feelings of hatred is normal, and it is good to get it out. This should be a safe place to do that.

Will feelings of hatred ever go away?
I don't think so. Not without some form of restitution or justice.

Problem is that the damage/s are so severe that this does not seem possible...not for me or for many others here (I know).

I will NEVER hurt another person, but I will also never FORGIVE and thr frikkin hatred I feel inside is not due to anything that "I" did myself!

I trusted. That trust was betrayed. And I have to pay dearly for all of my life!

What consolation could possibly occur to provide relief or remedy?!!!

I just wanted a chance.

A chance to reclaim what was left of a life or a future.

Damn it!

"I Hate them!"

A coupl'a hours have past...

And sure as the sky is dark,

And sure as the nausea that passed through my system as I nearly puked after triggering earlier...

And sure as the scream I let out in exacerbation...

And as sure as the tears that have welled up in my eyes so many times today...alone...

And as sure as the sunken look in my face...

And as sure as the fear and the ansiety passes through me AGAIN...

And as sure as I will once again hope and pray that tomorrow will be a better day...

I STILL H A T E them!!!!