So I have been trying to be more positive. Not sure if I filled you all in or not been gone for a while. Well I'm not living at my parents anymore. Stuff happend and I left because my mom decided not to do anything about it. Well I'm a family friends house and I'm blessed. She treats me like I'm her child. For my birthday she even took me to the Olive garden and got me a dress to wear. I feel so spoiled right now. Well I have been trying to smile and open up more. I have lost some weight finally and feeling better about my self. Like I'm me for a reason and I'm awesome. Well I have been having more hand and feet pain and on satSaturi noticed I have cellulitis. Well been treating that. Today my aunt messages me and says my cousin has passed away from a heart attack. She was only 30. I'm starting to get nurves because on my father's side there's so many health problems. It scares me. I can't have something wrong on top of my back problems and nurve problems and my hand and feet pain . I have been praying an smiling because I'm not going to let it get me down.