Have not posted in a long time.

High risk. I think this is my 4th week home, because my illness flared and my doc ordered me home until this is over. Boss is providing pto. 

This is insane. 

soon to be ex husband is terrible to kids. One has asthma. He does not medicate. While I was home, still sick and not able to go out, he refused to pick up her medicstion.

He agreed to keep them at his house only and took them on a play date and to spend time with family. Here in my county, lawyers experiencing this are telling parents to keep the kid of the other spouse is not staying home with them....especially since if I get this I will have serious complications. 

So I'm home with kids who miss dad and suddenly he won't talk to them. If he can't see them he doesn't want anything to do with them. No phone calls in days. 

he was supposed to start taking them one weeknight each week a few months back but can't do it. I'm not complaining. But I do feel bad for them.

Youngest has belly aches and is irritable. Not sure if she's sick or experiencing anxiety. 

Everythjng is so confusing and the worst of it, I won't type here. 

I hate this virus so much. It ripped up everyone's life and some of us had just begun to feel like maybe things would be okay. I know they still will be but all the hope of an end in sight to divorce and finalizing time sharing is gone. It's just on hold. 

I hate it. 

But I do love that I'm living in a spacious new place and I'm safe and I have people shoppig for me and I'm cooking and doing phone appointments with my physicians and my kiddos physicians. It's not terrible I guess. I'm blessed to be receiving paid time off I definitely. My boss doesn't want me experiencing my normal health issue symptoms at work anymore than my doc wants me to be exposed to the virus. I am so thankful for his generosity and extraordinary kindness. I'm literally being paid to stay home with my kids while my colleagues are putting themselves at risk for the community. It's surreal. In fact, all of life is surreal.

My kids are amazing

I have kids

Im getting dovorced

I have ptsd

I have a brother....

Oh yeah and there's a worldwide epidemic that's either extremely deadly or overly publicized or both and I have no opinion other than I'm listening to my doc bc I don't have energy to be in the know. 

LIFE IS CRAZY!!!