I've posted here about preparing to spend the holidays without my toxic family for my own good. Not posting because I don't want to be alone, but because I want to keep focused on what a good decision it is to spend the holidays in this new way.

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself when I hear the grass is greener on the other side. Feel sorry that I'm not like the beautiful people who seem to have all healthy, good friends and family who only love them and never hurt them. But then I check myself and realize there is no perfect family or perfect gathering of friends anywhere.

We can only be good company to ourselves, whether alone or with others. As the joke goes, wherever you go, there you are. I've been lonely in marriage, lonely in the midst of a church congregation, and certainly was always lonely in my toxic family unit, especially at Christmas. Loneliness isn't the only problem, then. The problem is also whether we're making the best choices we can make for ourselves.

You and I, I believe, are making the best choice for ourselves this Christmas. I know it may not look that way to others, but we know all that matters is our inner truth. We can't take our little bit more of peace of mind out and display it like people can display Christmas trees and ornaments on them. But it's the real purpose of the season, after all, and if you get a little more or it by being alone instead of with toxic family, hang onto it like a precious Christmas gift.

Hang in there, and have a happy moment this holiday season in spite of all. You deserve it.

Loneliness is painful any time of year. But it does hurt more now. It's taken me decades to not hurt over being alone this time of year. It is a hard and not a merry season for many.

I am in the same spot you are in lady- ..I was feeling that way too. It changed a lot when the tragic school shooting happened. Now I focus on my friends and family. and just being with them through the Holiday season. I only have my brother now. First year, no mom or dad. Mom passed away, --dad, abuser pretty much killed her off slowly. But now I have disowned my father. As of this year April, 2012. So all I have for family is my brother. And I cherish every moment with him. For my dad is thrashing out at him to get to me. Psych dr told me dad would. I am making it what it is because its going to happen. So might as well accept the circumstances and let it happen. I hope you have some peace through the Holidays.

there is just too much pressure on all of us to be so blinking happy at this time of the year. it helps me to just think that the point of all of it is really just to make some people a lot of money. it's really just another day imho
*hugs* & *peace*

We are not alone.

the only family i have is living brothers and sisters and some friends.
i assume the high rise is also the problem. so i thought id just reply and say huggsss, and just sort of be there that time to reply.
hope thats ok xxxx

THANKS for the support and the encoraging words.


ladydi1961