I went back to work on Dec. 26th. At first things were not going bad. I was getting things done, working was comfortable. Then I started to get more anxious, more jumpy. This is not only at work but at home. We had training for one client on the 6th- this is the client that can trigger me. By the end of the training I was shaking. Finally calmed down but since then the nightmares are coming back- this week has been bad. Not only did I have to deal with the sleep deprivation caused by the nightmares, the car broke right before work on Monday. Had to fix it and go in late.

Next thing was even worse. Tuesday morning my husband's blood sugar dropped so low I had to call an ambulance for him. He could have died. If I had left early like I had planned that day, he would have been dead. This is just sticking in my mind- now they nightmares are constant. Only time my mind is at rest is when I paint. Just so tired and wish I could get some real sleep. My husband is ok but still want to be able to help him if it happens again. With how tired I am I don't know if I can.

Some of the nightmares I am remembering- always a bad sign for me. One I remember are about the client and their site. I no longer go to their site but having nightmares about being there. I would give anything to have my sleep back. I can't even get over the cold I have because I am not getting enough sleep. I hate these nightmares and just want to escape. I hope next week is better- work has me staying out of town on business. I can't let the lack of sleep interfere with this. Only of the nightmares would go the fuck away.