Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.
Hello, Friends! This is such a wonderful space to share feelings. The support and encouragement, as well as compassionate suggestions I receive, as well as see offered to others who are suffering, truly touches my heart. In AA there was a lot of support. But there was also a lot of back-stabbing and judgment going on, and once I "dropped out," all the women I thought were my friends, whom I had been close to for years, not one called me to see if I was alive or dead. With the Program you're either in- or you're out. This is why I say it is a "cult," although if you suggest this, the AA Nazis will eat you up alive!
Here, I don't feel that anyone has an "agenda." We come together on this site because we have all suffered trauma, and we are striving to heal and achieve well-being and life balance. I believe this inner development begins with our sense of identity. Many of us have been victimized by others or by adverse circumstances, and we may even feel to blame for this misfortune, that we brought it on ourselves. I know that I certainly have felt that way. It has taken years for me to let go of guilt and shame. It is still a challenge. I know that I was a "complicit victim" in my tragic experiences, because alcohol clouded my better judgment, and also I was raised to believe that my self-worth was dependent upon being validated by a man.
I am only now beginning to recognize those patterns of thought that were embedded in me by my mother as a child. This is the first time in my life that I have not felt I need a man to validate my existence.
Practicing unconditional self-acceptance means letting go of all the shame and self-loathing over "mistakes" made in the past. It means accepting my imperfections and weaknesses. It means looking in the mirror as I age, and allowing for the passage of time without clinging to the idea that I must be young and beautiful to be lovable.
I am very grateful for the wisdom I have gained from the study of Zen Buddhism- the works of Alan Watts, Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh. I am also grateful for the masterworks of M. Scott Peck- "The Road Less Traveled," Stephen Covey- "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," Eckhart Tolle- "The Power of Now" and "The New Earth," and many others whose enlightened works provide guidance. I listen daily to the lectures of Alan Watts and Jack Kornfield, and they keep me "on pointe" and reassure me that I have a place in society, even though I do not fit in the mainstream.
Gradually, I am learning to accept myself as I am, even though my children don't love me, even though I haven't set the world on fire with my creative works. Every morning, when I complete my yoga practice at dawn, I say a prayer to God that includes this phrase: "Lord, let my life be simple, ordinary, regular, temperate...let no pride or self-seeking, no covetness or revenge pollute my spirit..."
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
My daughter didn't get the reference.
But 30-40-50 years ago...that was just the way things WERE. Married women couldn't even have their own bank accounts!!! Not without their husbands co-signing.
The world you came from (and even more so the world that your mother came from)....you WERE dependent on a man. No joke.
And NO SMALL ACCOMPLISHMENT that you raised your children on your own, in a time when that was not socially acceptable, and EVEN MORE THAN THAT...that you gave them a good education and opportunities to be successful in life.
***Yes, there were issues. Significant ones. The alcohol, and the bad relationships. But to take the issues out of the context of the world you LIVED in...is disingenuous.***
The messages that were imprinted early; the core beliefs, are difficult to overcome, but we do get to change them through self development and reality checks. We each get to become the best person we can be, while each of us is unique in what that will look like, as well as what that path will look like.
As we share, and are shared with, on DS, we get to move to the next step of our journey. Sometimes the old tapes may play, but we have the support and tools to move away from them and forward again. Hugs.
I have both PTSD and C-PTSD and am having a hard time right now after my elderly father was hit by a car and sustained a major head injury. He made it through without serious damage and is recovering, but my step-mother turned on me in a very abusive way and threw me out of the house when I had to ask for travel money help to get back home after being there for weeks helping everyone.
I think being in the ICU for days on end, not knowing if my father was going to make it while she ran off to her daughter-in-laws baby shower for two days, was really difficult for me. Then she abused me quite severely emotionally and I realized she has been taking pot-shots at me for years and resents that I exist and ended up with hidden disabilities that have required family help over time.
I came home with an acute stress reaction, as per my doctor. I am making my way through it but I am re-experiencing intense feelings of shame as I got some truths I had always wanted to say to her in as well - only a few for the 20-30 she was spewing out like vomit at me.
I came home alone as I am single. I am grateful for my friends, but I am really struggling with all this. I understand that relatives of ICU patients can end up with PTSD. Because I am partially disabled, I had more flexibility to be there to help as that is the kind of person I am. My younger half-brothers only had to be there for so long and got to go back to their jobs. I lost money from my home business by being there.
When he was well enough to come home and she didn't need me anymore, she turned on me. It was like a. demon rose up against me - that's the best I can describe it.
My father asked me to let her know I was OK when I left town and visited him one last time to tell him what happened, to say goodbye, and to leet him know I might not be coming to visit again - that her treatment of me was so horrible I didn't think I could be around her or the house or the town anymore.
I really do not think I will be able to. I have past issues with this part of my family and often feel old things being triggered when I go there anyway. Before all this happened, I was there over December and January for the holidays and house sitting for them and I had a thought that I might not go back and visit anymore. I have attained enough self-awareness and emotional health that I am more willing to do what is best for my mental and emotional health. - or at least think more about it.
Last month, I sent her a nice birthday card and she sent one back over a week or so later thanking me for it and yet the message inside was very passive aggressive towards me. I will never be around that woman again. I have felt so angry and want to confront and. get revenge somehow but I will not. However, I am keeping the card so that when my father. expects me to come visit, I will let him know that I made the effort the wanted me to make and this is what came of it and I am done.
She went running to him after abusing me, pretending to feel regret and covering her tracks with him, but never apologized to me.
Anyway, I came home dealing with double PTSD of sorts and am working my way through it.
Stormyblue - your message is very timely for me to read. I am trying to do my yoga practice more but part of me is frozen.
Ironically, I am almost finished reading (for the second time since my 20's,) The Road Less Traveled and in it he said something about how some people cannot handle the caring of others. I also feel the need to re-read People of the Lie.
I have audible credits I need to use and will remember Alan Watts as well.
I somehow blamed myself for this. If only I hadn't stayed too long, if I only I had gotten another dog like she accused me of being too weak to (after my dog died in my arms as I was driving through mountain passes to get help for him when he succumbed to an autoimmune issue that the ER Vet in a big city far away said I could take him home and come back Monday.)
So I've had some trauma in the last few years and have not been able to get another therapy dog. I think I will need one after this but all the anxiety and worry is something I cannot deal with still. And she attacked me for not handling his death better than I have (i.e. not running out to get another dog like she did - and dogs are not really her best friends like they are to me.)
Anyway, thank you! I look forward to learning from the strength of this groups members. Sorry this got long. Thank you again for this post and insightful replies to them from others.
DS is a good place to come and this is a great board.... I sure hear you re our informative years.... We can be so damaged.... I was as well
The series Madmen was when I grew up and so very true
I think you follow some great practices... Thanx for sharing them
Welcome back Catherine!!….
If you hadn't been here for a year when the new site was launched the older profiles didn't come over......I'm glad that you've come back but I'm sorry that you're hurting..... Big hug.....xo
You mentioned Thich Nhat Hanh. Oh, yeah, he got me through. Especially since he had huge credibility with me as someone who survived a war in a developing country (Vietnam) at the same time I survived one as a war child in a developing country, too (Uruguay).
He has total credibility with the whole world without that factual tidbit, but it meant a lot to me personally because of that history. I grabbed on to it with both hands, saying "hey, if he could get through the war stuff with such a gentle spirit, so can I somehow." Not that I'm on his level at all, of course, he's practically a saint. But just as a role model, ya know?
Thanks for sharing what Buddhist meditation has done for you, and bringing up his name in particular. It validated a lot for me in terms of your support given to me. So glad you keep on keeping on no matter what you may have experienced in support groups elsewhere. I had a similar experience with my Buddhist support group, of all things, except they went further and violated my anonymity to tell my psychiatrist stuff I'd shared in group behind my back. Boy, was he mad--he stood up for me and took them to court, in fact, for violating patient-doctor confidentiality.
I didn't give up on the Buddhist meditation, though, just because of the error of their ways, and I'm glad you didn't give up on support groups and came here to tell your story and mention Thich Nhat Hanh. It means so much. Sending you back all of my support today!