I'm so sorry you have had to experience such tragedy. I can understand how you would feel overwhelmed as I have experienced similar losses. I hope you have a good therapist that can help guide you through this.

I'm so sorry. You have seen and lost more than most ever would. My faith in Jesus has gotten me through my darkest hours. Keep praying, it really does help. ((((Hugs)))

I'm so sorry for all your traumas and losses. It boggles my mind.

Still, you are very young and cannot know what the future may bring. People I know who were drawn to death but managed to survive are always glad they did.

Are you in therapy? You surely need that kind of support at a time like this. Medication too probably.

Again, I am so, so sorry for your pain.

Ouch. . . That's allot to sort. Sort freely. Sort often. We are listening. . . We care. . .

Hope healing happens here.

Lots and lots of grief there, S. No one could work through that much grief all alone. Glad you're here to let us shoulder some of the burden. Hope you can find somebody to help you carry that weight off line, too. That's what helped me when I had to be my best friend's pall bearer and carry his casket on my shoulder to lay his body in the grave. I was the last person he talked to before his overdose. That was a heavy load for me. Some people go to a minister or a friend. I went to a therapist, and that's how I came here.

Lost of support to you today, S.

Big hug for you Suic and a blessing......

I agree that there's too much here for you to shoulder alone.....You mentioned that your cousin died of an overdose.....and others were shot.... Was this all drug related if you don't mind my asking?... I don't want to offend you only answer if you want to

The reason I ask is that NA and AA are amazing organizations as are organizations that work with them such as al anon..... These places can truly be of help as people here have walked the walk and know how dark it can get

Grief is so painful.... I'm so sorry that you've had so much of it in your young life.....

If you need to I hope that you'll go to emerg..... There is help for depression and for PTSD .....

Here is a list of crisis numbers..... I'm glad that you're here....... Another hug

https://support.dailystrength.org/hc/en-us/articles/207430776-What-if-I-need-emergency-help-

No, the two were at the wrong place wrong time, but thanks everybody. Ended up at the emergency room last night because I was getting chest pains from all this crying

Were they able to refer you for further support? You deserve it during this hard time in your life.

No, unfortunately there were no open beds at the mental hospital so I was released and sent home.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I live in Australia and they are not allowed to send people at risk home even if they have to park them in a corridor. I truly hope there is someone who can be with you. This is a hard time but there may be a good future for you if you can just hold on. I know it's a white knuckle ride.