Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group
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TW
Every year since I did exposure therapy in 2009 where I got PTSD as a kid in Uruguay, I've gone back to take pictures at the places where my traumas happened. I put my therapy to the test returning to the Uruguayan corner where my childhood car was hit by a bomb. Returning to the Uruguayan street where a soldier knelt me down with a gun to my teenaged head, a gun that miraculously jammed when he pulled the trigger.
Taking my picture at those spots in Uruguay after exposure therapy there every year was a celebration of surviving that stuff. It also made me feel functional enough in my own PTSD recovery that, after hospital chaplaincy, I could have a new career psyc courses myself teaching community college since 2011.
So since 2009 I got to where thought I might retire in Uruguay. But now as retirement approaches in 3 years, I've realized Uruguay is so far that I can afford to visit back home there, but I won't be able to afford to retire there on a fixed income. So, plan B: I lived in Mexico for a year once, , too. Therefore I decided to check Mexico out for retirement on vacation this year instead.
The north of Mexico is dangerous with cartel violence, but the south is safe. Even the US State Department says so. I decided, then, to try out the city of San Cristobal in the state of Chiapas, Mexico on vacation instead of going to Uruguay this year. That's where I am after flying in from Miami through Cancun, then to Tuxtla from Cancun, and finally by bus to San Cristobal.
It's Mexico instead of Uruguay, where I grew up, but I'm liking San Cristobal already. Now I can relax a little. I'm hoping my PTSD recovery from exposure therapy since 2009 is strong enough that I can really think about retiring back in Latin America in 3 years even if here in Mexico and not Uruguay. If so, it'll be early retirement, as I don't think my kidney disease combined with PTSD will let me stay full time functional longer. Fingers crossed.
I waited 12 years from my diagnosis to when I finally did exposure therapy in 2009. I don't recommend it for everybody, but after 12 years I was ready, and with my therapist it did me lots of good. He was a PTSD specialist, so it was guided exposure therapy.
As much as I missed it since I grew up here, before exposure therapy in 2009 coming back to Latin America I used to get triggered, so I felt like I couldn't come back home from the USA to retire. Now I'm hoping my PTSD recovery from exposure therapy since 2009 is strong enough that I can really think about retiring back in Latin America in 3 years even if here in Mexico and not Uruguay. If so, it'll be early retirement, as I don't think my kidney disease combined with PTSD will let me stay full time functional longer. Fingers crossed.
QUESTION: I've gotten scared twice on this trip about making such a big decision, so has anybody else put their therapy to the test with a big life decision? Not necessarily about where to retire, but anything like that--like where to work, where to live, stuff like that?
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Hiya My internet is changing today and I'm not sure how long the switch over will take, I'm hoping 24 hours at the most, but I'm probably being too optimistic We are changing to another company and going full fibre for the internet. But at least it's changing to the one payment rather than the payment for the home landline phone and a payment for the internet. So I'm not going to be on here...
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Name something you hated as a kid that you love as an adult.
I haven't really put it to the test in making permanent life decisions, but I have tested the waters. I got sick in a tropical country, and that caused a lot of problems. I also passionately pursue research on diseases that occur in tropical counties. I'd like to do fieldwork and research in some of those countries, but I must also confront the fact that those warm climates are triggering and going back into such a similar environment for an extended period will be challenging. It's a career goal though, so I'm committed to being therapeutically ready before I step on the plane for a foreign research site.
I have had 2 family vacations in Mexico since my trauma. The first time was rough, the second time I managed but I did need to take considerable self care measures and some time to meditate. Having never had to actually make a big life decision around this, I can't fully imagine the burden of your situation. But I do see the conflicting interests in my own life, and I grapple with them. A part of me dreads the day where this notion of my future turns into an actual proposal. We owe it to ourselves to not let PTSD hold us back though. If we give in to the fear and uncertainty, the PTSD wins.
Combined between the fact that I'm going through a really hard time right now & I'm in the midst of trying to function in life with my sometimes crippling PTSD I feel stupid giving advice. But, something in me wanted to anyways so .......... I don't know if it sounds silly but I think when you are down there you should go somewhere really peaceful & kinda just breath in the air, meditate & ask yourself inside what would be the safest happiest feeling place for you & your answer might come to you. Maybe find something from the earth like a beautiful rock & hold it in your hand & it may come to you. Lol, I hope you don't think I'm crazy, something inside just told me to tell you that. I just think everything you been through you deserve to be in a place that you can find the most peace. Btw idk if your ever vacationing, Puerto Rico is a very beautiful country as well that's still close to the US , Lol but that's the Boricua in me talking :)
You can take my advice or scrap it, whatever is best for you. I hope you have a beautiful vacation & I hope you find your peace which sounds like you have somewhat found already in many cases & I think it's beautiful & inspiring.
Sending you a peaceful vibes & a hug
lilmissy, I'm grateful for your quick answer, too. It gave me such hope to receive it. Please put thoughts to one side as to which of us is further along in recovery between you and me. It's always one day at a time for all of us, so your advice is totally what I need. Thanks for giving it, and for wishing me more peace to come.
Like I said to Dance here, I'll remember that when I get anxious as I go around town here checking things out for retirement. Yeah, Mexico is a magical place, as you say, and as you know the south of it is safe, so this might happen. I'll do as you say and find a rock to hold in my hand and ground me when anxiety surfaces in me. Someday if I do pull off retiring here I might visit the Puerto Rico you describe with such love, too.
I'll be thinking back about the turmoil you mention that you're going through right now and sending vibes of support to you. I sure do appreciate your advice a ton right now. Gracias!
Hell yes I have tested my therapy on every single decision I have made since I started therapy. "Low fat or high fat caramel mocha? What do THEY say?" More than one volume of my 105 volume therapy journal is about how therapy failed the test. Well. . . Sometimes I wonder if it is a pass/fail exam. On my good days I can set the grading curve aside and *just* stay focused on *just* doing what is in front of me.
Enjoy Saint Christopher, muji. It is what is in front of you today.
If you want to change the world, *just* do what is in front of you. ~Mother Teresa
Leo--yeah, just facing 2017 will be therapy test enough. And all the more reason for thinking about Mexico in my future. I keep thinking nothing could be worse than 2016 was, and then this little voice whispers in my ear, "Wwwellll..."