No. I was the same way for a very long time. Now I don't like it, but I can deal with it. Put a movie on, however, that has that happen, I'm ready to kill someone for being a prick. I'm 15 years out from my abuser. Then, too, everyone is different. Hope that helps some!

Hugz!

No, it happened to me when I was 10 so it's hardwired into my development as a growing person. I'm now 55. It doesn't define me, but I won't ever forget and couldn't expect to. I just don't re-live it as much each time I hear the word.

No. You were defiled. A horror. Lots of people do not have to live through this horror or come out the other side. I can say the word. I have had years of practice. My first telling made the second easier, and I eventually counseled people like us. I say the word. I tell my story. I understand where you are. Know that you are understood.

I want to agree with lily, I too am proud of you for starting this thread and talking about it... I may have been the one to trigger you... As I used it in my post this morning... I want you to know how very sorry I am to have triggered you... I hate it when I get triggered so I totally understand... I used the word in anger, I a way it feels like I want to make sure people understand how mad I am that It happened to my daughter...and to me...(my father did and then a "friend" of mine did she I was 16) so I totally understand how you can be triggered and i am sorry... I post a lot on DS and I now will never use that word again... I promise to you that I will find a different way of expressing my anger and rage...!!! I have to thank you from the bottom of my soul for your bravery in standing up to say how you feel about it... If you had not told us how you feel I would never have known I was triggering people...'I don't want to do that...!!!! So thank you and I am sorry again for any suffering or flinching that I caused you with my post and insensitive words...!!! Sending loving comfort and support your way...!!! Truly sorry...!!!

Also, wanted to mention I have c-PTSD as well... And have experienced this type of violation more than once or twice... So I totally respect and understand how that word can trigger you... I should have thought about all that before I used the word... Sorry again... I hate to make someone suffer :(

Thank you lily... I appreciate that... I would have hated to trigger you too...!!! Or anyone...!!! But I will still be super careful with the word and at the very least add a TRIGGER WARNING before I use it again...!!! If I ever do...!!!

That is how I am too. I HATE hearing it or seeing it. And I hate people who use it for fun. It makes me want to kill someone.

I think I'm really amazed that (if ???) anybody who's been through this horror truly DOES stop reacting to the word, or the graphic representations, or anything.

As I often say, I'm under court order not to share the story of how I came to Complex PTSD, but ... as a child ... was molested by a family member.

I'm not over that. I'm not over any of it.

I wish you peace, health, strength, and ... less and less reactivity to these triggers, over time.

My wish for ALL of us :-)

To loves mama: I wasn't triggered by anything so don't worry. (: I was just thinking about it and decided to post.

no, there is nothing wrong with you. its not just a word for you, for others here, it's filled with memories. terrible memories.

some can use the word. others cannot.

I suspect that here, most may be more sensitive to how we use words. and how we hear them.

warm regards

I am really glad I didn't trigger you...!!! But I still will be careful from now on... I had this happen to me so many times that I am just MAD about it... I'm done with being ashamed and quiet and I want people everywhere to know how absolutely wrong and intolerable it is... But I still could be more sensitive because I wasn't always mad... I used to be very scared and quiet about stuff... But being a mom of a survivor has permenantly changed me... And I want to permanently change the world, if I can save one person from the pain of being assaulted then I will feel it was not all in vain... I want to make people aware of the misery it causes... The devastation... After my brother hurt my daughter I was so mad at him I all of a sudden had sympathy for murderers and decided that in some cases perpetrators of this type of crime are infact more dangerous than say a father who wants to kill the perpetrator of his daughter... Ya know... But then the court system doesn't see things that way... It is all so backwards when it comes to this crime and "justice"

I AM SO SO SORRY THAT THIS HAPPENED TO YOU... How incredibly devistating... :( I understand the pain and aftermath of this...
And I just want you to know I'm here for you if you ever need to talk...!!!! You can always message me :) warm
Thoughts and wishing you peace and safety...!!!

To everyone, especially loves mama:
You should try to have it not bother you. As you can see by my post I'm not saying that it is easy or maybe even fully possible, but you do have to try and move forward. Don't let it stir inside of you and ruin you. Lovesmama, if you're angry, then let it out! (In a constructive way, don't hurt anyone haha)
If we let ourselves be ruined by the horrible and unfortunate thing that has happened to us then we let them win. They wanted to make us feel miserable and worthless and we're not. So try your best to rise up and be more than you ever thought you could be.

Don't let them win. They don't deserve it, but you deserve peace.
-hugs & kisses